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“What Are You Saving It For, Honey?”

I took ballet class for many years. It was – and still is – a passion of mine.  Although now, I just watch from my seat at the Met.

There’s something that happens in class when you’re learning a combination: we call it “marking.” You’ll see dancers at the back of the studio, using their hands to “do” the steps, or walking through it with minimal effort before its their turn to perform it.

Marking is a way to get the piece in your head before you hit the center and do it “full out.” Dancers will hold back a little ahead of the performance, putting all their technique, energy and artistry into the big moment.

Here’s my favorite ballerina, Diana Vishneva, “marking” some variations.  Isn’t she awesome?  I have a girl-crush.


Anyway, some choreographers aren’t a fan of “marking” in rehearsal. George Balanchine would famously tell his ballerinas, “What are you saving it for, honey?”

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That’s a good question for all of us.

One of my friends is planning on moving to a new apartment. After years of living in a tiny studio, she wants to upgrade to a larger place, which will mean needing more furniture. Her mother is telling her not to spend the money  because she might be moving again someday.   Someday. Someday.

In the meantime, in the here and now, my friend is being encouraged to stay in a cramped, bare-bones place that makes her sad. Because ….someday.

You could say my friend is “marking” her life. She’s not going full out, saving her dreams for some future day.

All of us have gotten this message at some point. We hold back. We don’t fully embrace the things that might make us happy, mainly for reasons that are fear-based.

Take a look at this Tarot card:

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The guy is happily moving off a cliff, into the unknown. The little dog nipping at his heels represents those things that get in our heads: “Watch out!” “Don’t do it!” “It will never work!” “Don’t take any risks!”

But our guy is trusting that whatever happens in the next few steps, he’ll be supported by the Universe. He may not know what’s coming – he may be nervous and wanting to stay in his comfort zone – but he’s choosing to go full out with his life.

So whether it comes to choosing a better relationship for yourself, or just stating what you really want for lunch, ask yourself:

“What are you saving it for, honey?”

If I can help you sort out what’s holding you back, get in touch.

Letting Go of the Past

It’s been a long, cold, lonely winter, hasn’t it?  Here in New Jersey, winter truly made us her bitch.  But before we know it, the snow will be gone, the grass growing and I’ll be elbow-deep in mulch and new plants again. The cold nights and biting winds will be in the past.  Thank the Lord.

It puts me in mind of this Tarot card.   I love it when this one turns up in a spread.  The Sun represents coming out of the dark and back into the light.  One is reborn, with the sunshine illuminating a fresh new path.

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The Sun is about putting the past behind us, once and for all.  Notice that wall?  It’s keeping the past where it belongs, without it leaching through into the present moment.  Sunflowers represent a spiritual barrier, reminding us that the past has contributed to our growth, but it doesn’t need to keep influencing us.

See that kid riding nekkid?  That’s you, reborn.  Wheee!

I’ve had numerous clients fearful that their past will continue to determine their future possiblities.  They’re being held hostage by things that are overwith.  The past is like a nasty wad of gum on their shoe.

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Take a moment to think about the issues in your life:  what still haunts you?  When you think of a problem, what’s your first thought about it (“I always do that….” “Ever since then, I’ve never had a good job…”  “I’m a loser when it comes to love”….”Mom always said I was [fill in the blank]….”

How often do those old echoes  come up during the day?  Really pay attention to your default thought process.   Make a note of everything that goes through your head, carrying a trace of the past.  When you catch yourself, write it down….then burn it.  See the past going up in smoke.  Literally.

Because the past is overwith.  Done.  Finito.  If you can see it as having taught you something, you can move forward in a stronger, clearer way.  The past does not have to define what comes next;  it can inform it in a smarter way, making the future that much smoother.

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Take the lesson of the Sun card as we move into Spring.  And take my favorite Beatles song (well, one of them) as your soundtrack.     “It’s alright….”  [And remember, I‘m always here if you need a reading to see what’s on the horizon…]

Pump Up Your (Protective) Volume

I had a client here the other day who felt every little thing, way too much. She cried for no reason, couldn’t sleep and generally didn’t feel comfortable in her own skin.  I could see – and feel—that her energy layers were too, for lack of a better word,  “thin.”

We all have a barrier that protects us from the slings and arrows of daily life.  It’s like an extra skin and helps us stay balanced when stuff is being thrown at us.  When its healthy, we feel strong and stable.

But when the world throws a haymaker, that energy layer wobbles and thins out.  For me, I’ll feel like I have “holes” punched in me.

Like this....

Like this….

I feel raw, sore on the outside and the inside.  Everything hurts.

This is a real phenomenon.  Most of us will feel this weak, sick sensation only when we’re struggling with loss, grief, hard times.  But other people like my client are habitually in this state.   They need to pump up the volume on this energy layer.  Like putting mousse in your hair to achieve 80s-level fabness.

HELL, yeah....

HELL, yeah….

This is a great exercise for anyone who’s feeling a little pummeled, or who needs to achieve greater daily “stability.”  It’s also a sweet trick to do before heading into any sticky family encounters, meetings with irritating people or situations that make you feel vulnerable.

First, settle down and take some deep breaths.

Continue to breathe quietly and steadily.  Now envision a small bubble of white light starting to emanate from your center.  See it growing a little bit more with each breath.

The bubble continues to grow from your center until it reaches outside your arms.  Another few breaths and it reaches your knees….down to your feet, over your shoulders, over the top of your head.  You’re now inside a protective egg of light.

With each breath, this beautiful bubble extends outside of you a little bit more.  The inside of this bubble is peaceful, sheltering, warm.  You feel strong and safe with this healthy, whole layer of energy surrounding you.

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Nothing negative can get past it to affect you; bad energy, harsh words, whatever, just bounce right off it.    Know that you can move through your day feeling strong and centered.  You are clear and protected.

Now go through your day like the Warrior Princess (or Prince) that you are.

What to Do When You’re Broken

In the last few weeks, several  friends and clients have been hit hard.  The sudden loss of a sister who was far too young.  Major surgery which a father did not survive.  Job loss and financial panic.  January has well and truly sucked, let’s just say it.

I ran into one of these people at the store the other day, and the pain emanating from her was palpable.  She admitted she was just staggering through her days, frustrated at not being able to function – but not ready to function, either.  She was broken.

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When you’ve gone through something painful, there’s a huge shock to your body, mind and spirit.   Part of you is thinking there are things you need to do, that you need to get back up and back into the game.  But there’s another part that just can’t think straight and wants nothing more than to stay in bed with a stack of tabloids and a bag of M&Ms.

The thing is, be gentle with yourself.  Give yourself that time.  And when you don’t know what to do or where to start, keep it small.  Tiny, even.

One client was frustrated that she was having no luck in her job search.  She was overwhelmed and fearful that she would never find work.  Things looked bleak and she was going further down that rabbit hole of negativity.  She couldn’t stop crying.

I told her to find just three things every day that made her feel happy, secure and blessed.  Those things could be as small as the fact that she was breathing, or that she had a warm bed to sleep in or that the sun was shining.  By focusing on even tiny things, she would begin to get her power back.  And those miniscule things eventually gain traction, and will help pull her out of the pit.

When you’re feeling punched in the gut, stick to the physical basics.  Eat.  Sleep.  Brush your teeth.  Taking care of your body grounds all that crazy energy that seems to be swirling around you.  It gives you a foundation to build back on.  So even if you do nothing else that day, having a piece of fruit, a short walk, a nap or a little massage is doing something valuable.

Archangel Raphael is the big daddy of healing, so ask him to work on you as you sleep.  He can buff out any rough spots in your energetic body, fill in any of the holes and restore some peace of mind, as well as physical balance.   I’m also all for a short course of therapy and/or anti-depressants, if necessary.

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We’ve all been broken at some point, and will be again.  Know that these are tests being brought to you.  And know that they wouldn’t be brought to you if the Powers That Be didn’t know that you could pass them.  Be gentle.  Keep it small.  Take your time.  But don’t give up.

Deer, Deer: Symbolism of the Deer

I love deer.  My neighbors may complain that they eat everything in the yard, but I don’t care.  No matter how often I see them nibbling in the dusk light, I hold my breath with wonder.   The other night, I was blessed to have them respond to my invitation to eat the corn I placed gently on the ground.  It was magical.

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I’m not alone in my love of deer: every culture has its tradition related to this   beautiful animal.  In China, deer are associated with abundance.  The Celts believed that fairies trailed behind them, as they cut a path through the forest.  Native Americans prayed to deer to ensure a good hunt.

Animals cross our path for a reason.  When you see a deer (even in a picture), it’s a reminder to tune into your gentler side.  Nudge rather than push.  It also encourages you to step away from the noise and busyness of civilization, and  go deeper into the “forest” of your own intuition.  Expand your awareness of what’s going on around you.  Do more listening than talking, and you’ll find a new path through whatever blocks you.

Honor your deer sighting with a solemn nod in their direction, and a “thank you.”  And maybe some corn!

Got questions about your own critters?  Reach out to me for an Animal Communication session.

How to Move Forward in 2014

Earlier this week, I wrote about how 2014 is a ‘7’ year – which means a year of increased intuitve powers, the ability to manifest things quickly and a year of healing, both inside and out.

The corresponding Tarot card to this vibe is The Chariot.

The guy in the cart is on the move.  He’s heading in a postive direction.  You can practically feel the energy coming off the image.

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But look closer:  the charioteer isn’t using his hands to steer.  He’s doing it by sheer will, coupled with the deep knowing of where he wants to go.  It’s like he’s on a spiritual Segway, where the driving is effortless.  The energy to move forward is coming from his inner self.  Hands are unneccessary (unless you’re here in NJ, in which case you’ll want a hand available to give your fellow charioteers the finger).

Having a clear notion of “where” you want to go this year can make the journey much easier.  I don’t believe you have to have every detail worked out, just some broad strokes.  Because the Chariot is being driven by inner knowing, use these questions to trigger your deeper desires.  Don’t overthink them, just brainstorm quickly and freely:

-How do you want to feel this year?

-What makes you happy?

-What do you not want to repeat or experience?

-What made you happy as a kid?

-What’s your most valued possession or person?

-When did you last “take action” on something, like a cause?  What got you off the couch?

-What makes you feel connected to God or Spirit?

The point of these questions is to get to the heart of what makes you happy and satisfied.  It’s the foundation on which you build the details on.  And the neat thing is, once you draw closer to that “heart,” the “how” begins to reveal itself.  And your chariot will begin to really move forward.

What’s on your “to-do” list for this year?  Hit me up in the comments.  And remember to visit me here.

Seven Things to Do In a “7” Year

There’s something about the number “7.”  Lucky seven, the seven seas, Dance of the Seven Veils, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers….you get the drift.  Seven has some righteous energy.  Traditionally, “7” is the number of wisdom, of the mystic and the magician.  According to numerology, it’s the number driving this brand new year, 2014.   Not for nothing,  I happen to be writing this on Jan. 7th.  Coincidence?  I think not.

Anyway, 2014 is gonna pack a pretty powerful wallop – in a good way.  So here’s what you can do in a 7 Year to take full advantage.

1)   Study anything psychic or metaphysical.    If you’ve ever had the hankering to learn Tarot cards or how to talk to dead people, this is the year to take it up.  With all the positive vibes in the air, your progress will be much easier.  Here’s a starting point.  And this is a fun exercise, too.

Gandalf says, "Get your own."

Gandalf says, “Get your own.”

2)    Undertake any form of healing – including surgery.  If you’ve been feeling funky, the 7 energy is gonna make whatever you do to get healthier a lot more effective.  Your body and mind will respond and repair way faster.  Note:  bad plastic surgery is excluded from this.  No amount of cosmic juice can undo a face from looking like it was caught in the G-force simulator at NASA.

You gotta know when to fold 'em...and when to put the knife down, dammit.

You gotta know when to fold ’em…and when to put the knife down, dammit.

3)   Offload people who aren’t meshing with you.  As long as we’re talking healing, you know there are some folks in your world who drain you, frustrate you, make you want to punch a wall.  If you’ve done everything you can to make things work and they’re still behaving badly, you need to ditch them.  The 7 energy will make it easier to say – once and for all – “buh bye.”  I wrote about a technique that can help here.

Time to take out the trash.

Time to take out the trash.

4)  Change any behaviors that don’t work.  In a 7 year, fixing bad habits is a breeze.  Well, almost.  If you want to lose weight/stop smoking/give up your eBay addiction, make a plan….but then let the magic 7 smooth the way.

5)  Take advantage of enhanced intution.  You’re gonna be standing in line at Starbucks, just minding your own bidness, when – POW! – something will pop into your head about someone you know.  Hopefully, its not embarassing.  But at any rate, the 7 energy really cranks up the volume on our natural intuition, so pay attention to what you’re getting.  Write down your “hits” as a way to track and develop your unique psychic style.   And remember to protect yourself while you’re experiencing this new energy.

It's about to get real....

It’s about to get real….

6)  Reflect on your life purpose.   All this mystical energy has a point:  it leads us to ask the big questions.  “Who am I?”  “Where am I headed?”  “Why can’t Kim Kardashian find a top that fits?”

Seriously girl, get a proper fitting.  You're gonna hurt someone.

Seriously girl, get a proper fitting. You’re gonna hurt someone.

This year, you may find yourself feeling more inspired and introspective than usual; allow yourself the time to just hang out and take stock of how your journey has gone so far – and where you want it to take you next.

7)  Write in a journal.  A journal is a great way to log all the “aha!” moments and adventures the 7 year is going to bring your way.  By the time Ryan Seacrest announces the ball dropping again in Times Square, a lot will have happened.  You’ll want a record of it.

Happy 2014.  Now go kick some ass.

The Season of Light

One of my favorite movies of the holiday season is almost any version of A Christmas Carol.  Dickens wrote the story of Scrooge as an indictment of the greed and heartlessness he witnessed firsthand in Victorian England.   Scrooge is the ultimate hard case, selfish, materialistic and cold to the core.

But despite the titanium-like armor over his heart, he had a revelation. The overwhelming goodness around him won out; in fact, he practically had a seizure from all that joy.

One of my Facebook friends posted that she was rushing to put stamps on all her Christmas cards before the post office closed.  A complete stranger came over to her and took half the stack to help her finish in time.  We hear about people who surprise those in need with a new furnace, or fix up their car.   Those Toys for Tots commercials make me tear up, when we see little kids waking up to find gifts under their pathetic Charlie Brown tree.

These kind of impulses are what make the holidays so wonderful.  When I look at the lights up and down my street, I feel peaceful.  They serve as a beacon out into the Universe, reminding us that we humans have an endless capacity to shine.  Every tiny act, every smile or small courtesy affects both the receiver and the giver, and has some pretty positive blowback: it’s the antidote to a bad day, bad news, frustration and despair.  Kindness of spirit is literally magical.

So, like Scrooge, lets try and remember that this beautiful season should live in our hearts 24/7, 365.

This is from my girl, Joni Mitchell.  A reminder to send out a little light even when its not Christmas.

I read a client the other night who was beyond frustrated at her dating situation.  Just when she thought she’d met a great guy, he shut down on her about 2 weeks in.  It was all going along so well, and  then – pffft.

After her third smackdown, she asked, “Why does this keep happening to me?”

It’s mystifying and infuriating when something crappy keeps turning up again and again in your life.  It’s like a sick joke.  Here’s my take on it:

There’s a lesson you’re not getting.

...it feels so good when  you stop!

…it feels so good when you stop!

It’s easy to lay the blame on the lousy partner, awful boss or your lifelong streak of “bad luck” —  but that’s only half of the equation.  When you keep winding up with the same results (or lack thereof), the Universe is putting a big, fat mirror up to your face and asking, “Yo, sweetie —  why so dense?”

Every blotch on our life is telling us something.  In the case of my Disappointed Dater, I got a “ping” from Spirit that she needed to find the common thread in her last four relationships (going back to her ex).  At first, she didn’t see anything, but we pressed on.  Turns out that every one of her guys was severely, emotionally limited.  They could only go ‘so far’ before they armored up.  They were great on the first few dates, but they burned hot and fast – and out.  The “a-ha!” came when she realized that she and her ex only got together because he was unavailable a lot – and a part-time lover was all she could handle at the time.

So that’s what she continued to get.

The reading continued with us drilling down into how she was going to open herself up to a more complete relationship.  Until she did that, she’d only attract guys who were, emotionally, about an inch deep.  But if she was brave enough to look at her own role in this creation, she’d have the insights that would help her make different choices.

You can apply this same reasoning to literally everything that’s not quite right in your own life:  a health situation (check out Louise Hay’’s wonderful books on the emotional connections to illness), your finances, your family.  How are you setting booby-traps for yourself?  What’s your role?    When the same situation keeps presenting itself, the Universe is throwing a pop quiz your way.  And it will keep coming until you turn the paper over and take the damn test.

The Judgement card in the Tarot is all about this.  The angel is blowing the horn of awakening, and the people are rising from the dead.  They have literally been reborn after enduring a tough lesson.  Things are different, because they took a long, hard look in the mirror.

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This may seem a little daunting or depressing, when we’re so accustomed to pointing the finger at outside circumstances. But really, that takes your power away, leaving those same “outside circumstances” in charge.   Maybe Mr. Emotionally Frigid will get himself together or maybe he won’t.  Maybe your boss will stop being such a tool or maybe he won’t.  Maybe your finances will get better or maybe they won’t.  You can keep waiting for the “other” to come around, or you can look at your part in the “why”  (even if it’s the tiniest bit) and break the logjam.

The biggest part of the word “Blame” is “lame.”   Stop focusing your frustration or anger outward and use that energy to see what you need to learn.  It’s scary, but its also liberating.  And you’ll finally pass the pop quiz.

I’d love to hear your comments about your own life.   And remember to drop by my site, whenever.

Bringing A Dream Back to Life

I love Facebook, mainly for the way it helps us reconnect with people from our past – like my college roommate.  She posted something today that made me recall how frikkin’ smart she always was – even if most of the time, we couldn’t see it through all the pot smoke and Southern Comfort haze polluting the dorm.

In 1979, this was a food group.

In 1979, this was a food group.

Here’s what she had to say about the upcoming holiday shopping frenzy:

“Just had a radical thought. Apologies to all the retailers out there, but who among us needs more stuff? Hmmmm? What if this year, instead of giving ANY gifts, we funded people’s dreams? What if we asked the people on our gift list, “What do you dream about doing/becoming?” And then, what if we took whatever we were going to spend on whatever THING they probably don’t need (even if they think they want it) and spent that on making something less tangible, but likely more valuable, come true? Wouldn’t that be amazing?

Yes.  Yes, it would.  But it put me in mind of something that comes up with many of my clients:  they don’t know what their dream is anymore.  Or they’re afraid to express it.  The litany I hear is a mashup of,  “It’s too late/I have too many responsibilities/it’s stupid…”  But the thing is, it’s your DUTY to recapture some part of that dream and make it happen to whatever extent you can.

Choosing to get on the wild ride that is human life is a big deal.  The souls that agree to step back into human form are opting for a major opportunity to not only grow themselves, but to help other souls grow by their influence.  It’s like throwing a pebble into a pond: the ripples move outward.

The dream(s) you came into this life with are part of your homework as a soul.  If you can’t quite recall them, think back to the things you liked to do as a child.  I was insane for ballet, and bugged my parents for lessons.  Hips and boobs and being 5’9” kinda killed the goal of being a professional, but my love for the art form has continued.  I’ve shared my knowledge and love of various ballets and dancers with younger enthusiasts, and like to think I’m sort of paying it forward.

In my dreams....

In my dreams….

So while becoming a pro singer, football star or veterinarian may be out of the cards, there are always ways to dabble.  Drill down to the core of what you love: if you can’t go to vet school, you could do animal rescue work.  If you never made it to the major leagues, you can coach Little League.  Ask your spirit guides to give you some direction.  They live for this stuff.

The dreams you have are the carry-on bags from your journey from the Other Side.  They hold the seeds to your happiness and spiritual evolution.  And the people who are also touched by those dreams grow in ways you can’t even imagine.

So this season, give thanks for the impossible notions you came into this life with.  Take a moment to dust them off,  look at them — then dare to make them happen.

“If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you.” — awesome quote I just heard on a TV commercial

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