Tag: health

The “Repeat” Button: Why the Same Crap Keeps Happening

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I read a client the other night who was beyond frustrated at her dating situation.  Just when she thought she’d met a great guy, he shut down on her about 2 weeks in.  It was all going along so well, and  then – pffft.

After her third smackdown, she asked, “Why does this keep happening to me?”

It’s mystifying and infuriating when something crappy keeps turning up again and again in your life.  It’s like a sick joke.  Here’s my take on it:

There’s a lesson you’re not getting.

...it feels so good when  you stop!
…it feels so good when you stop!

It’s easy to lay the blame on the lousy partner, awful boss or your lifelong streak of “bad luck” —  but that’s only half of the equation.  When you keep winding up with the same results (or lack thereof), the Universe is putting a big, fat mirror up to your face and asking, “Yo, sweetie —  why so dense?”

Every blotch on our life is telling us something.  In the case of my Disappointed Dater, I got a “ping” from Spirit that she needed to find the common thread in her last four relationships (going back to her ex).  At first, she didn’t see anything, but we pressed on.  Turns out that every one of her guys was severely, emotionally limited.  They could only go ‘so far’ before they armored up.  They were great on the first few dates, but they burned hot and fast – and out.  The “a-ha!” came when she realized that she and her ex only got together because he was unavailable a lot – and a part-time lover was all she could handle at the time.

So that’s what she continued to get.

The reading continued with us drilling down into how she was going to open herself up to a more complete relationship.  Until she did that, she’d only attract guys who were, emotionally, about an inch deep.  But if she was brave enough to look at her own role in this creation, she’d have the insights that would help her make different choices.

You can apply this same reasoning to literally everything that’s not quite right in your own life:  a health situation (check out Louise Hay’’s wonderful books on the emotional connections to illness), your finances, your family.  How are you setting booby-traps for yourself?  What’s your role?    When the same situation keeps presenting itself, the Universe is throwing a pop quiz your way.  And it will keep coming until you turn the paper over and take the damn test.

The Judgement card in the Tarot is all about this.  The angel is blowing the horn of awakening, and the people are rising from the dead.  They have literally been reborn after enduring a tough lesson.  Things are different, because they took a long, hard look in the mirror.

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This may seem a little daunting or depressing, when we’re so accustomed to pointing the finger at outside circumstances. But really, that takes your power away, leaving those same “outside circumstances” in charge.   Maybe Mr. Emotionally Frigid will get himself together or maybe he won’t.  Maybe your boss will stop being such a tool or maybe he won’t.  Maybe your finances will get better or maybe they won’t.  You can keep waiting for the “other” to come around, or you can look at your part in the “why”  (even if it’s the tiniest bit) and break the logjam.

The biggest part of the word “Blame” is “lame.”   Stop focusing your frustration or anger outward and use that energy to see what you need to learn.  It’s scary, but its also liberating.  And you’ll finally pass the pop quiz.

I’d love to hear your comments about your own life.   And remember to drop by my site, whenever.

Five-Minute Feng Shui

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I just did a major purge of old books, DVDs and some truly hideous gifts.  It wasn’t so much to provide shelf-filler for the local Goodwill as it was to make some feng shui fixes in my house.

Feng shui is essentially the art of placement:  where you put the stuff in your home and office influences everything from your health and finances, to the state of your relationship or whether you can even have kids.

The Chinese take this so seriously that the construction of major office buildings won’t begin without the go-ahead from the feng shui master after he/she has scoped out the lay of the land –literally. Hey, if its good enough for the Donald Trumps of Hong Kong….

Like Mid-East politics or the romantic life of the Kardashians, feng shui can get complicated. There are tons of good books on the subject*,many of which I have partially read before giving up and turning to Star magazine.  But to give you a taste, here are a few super-easy things to try in your own space.

The main principle is that energy must flow freely; when it gets blocked, your life gets blocked.  Walk into each room of your home: stand in the center, take a deep breath and see how you feel. Try and look at the room as if  for the first time. Is it cluttered, dark, dusty?  Do you trip over cat toys (wait –that’s MY living room).  Do you feel energized and happy, or anxious, sad and in need of a Jello shot?

Three –or six–of these always makes space clearing fun!

Really pay attention to how the space makes you feel.  Then make a few fixes:

HEALTHY PLANTS  Fresh greenery bring new life into a space. Bamboo plants are low-maintenance, and a traditional symbol of good fortune.  I’ve put one right by my front door, to encourage luck to enter my home.   NOTE:  Artificial or dried arrangements are frowned upon for their absence of life force.  Not to mention the dust.

MIRRORS  Mirrors are the “aspirin” of feng shui.  They can reflect good energy back into a room, or deflect bad energy away.  One of my favorite tricks is to place a mirror behind your stove.  The Chinese view the stove as the heart of the home;  a mirror symbolically “doubles” the number of burners, increasing the wealth vibe.  And you can put your makeup on while you’re stirring the marinara.

WIND CHIMES  They sound pretty – and serve a purpose.  Hang a chime anywhere you’d like some fresh energy.  Every time you move past it, that pretty sound will also move the molecules around.

LEAKS, DRIPS, CHIPS  Leaks and drips drain your energy – literally and figuratively. Items that are held together by duct tape are just a big drag on your mood. Make a list of those things that are not in good condition and either fix, toss or replace them.

Really? Just give it up already….

KITCHENS AND BATHS  According to feng shui, these are the two most important rooms in the home.  The kitchen is where food is prepared (our microwaved, if its my kitchen), ensuring our survival; the bath is where we care for our bodies, and represents the state of our health.  Keeping these two rooms clean, tidy and with all appliances/fixtures in shipshape order will go a looooong way towards making you feel good.  NOTE:  keep the toilet lid down.  This symbolically keeps family finances from being “flushed away” [hey, that’s one way to get the men in your home to finally do it!]

BEDROOMS This is where we sleep and, uh, ya know…  That’s what it should be about – so TVs, iPads and other distractions interfere with those two main objectives.  Feng shui says that the electrical energy of these items will keep you awake all night, even if only on a subconscious level.  So if you can’t ditch them altogether, store them in a cabinet or armoire. NOTE: if your own love life is lacking, encourage a fresh shot of “sumpin’ sumpin’” by getting new sheets.

….a little of THIS guy’s music couldn’t hurt either….

CLUTTER—THE BIG “NO NO” As I mentioned, feng shui is all about the free flow of energy through a space.  So clutter is not cool (another reason I just did my own closet purge).

This not Feng Shui. This is A Cry for Help.

You know how great it feels after you’ve done a major spring cleaning?  That’s what you’re going for.  Start with closets and cabinets; clearing out those little energy suckers will inspire you to go room by room until your whole house is Feng Shui Fabulous.  Or at least a little cleaner.  Have a Jello Shot to celebrate!

*One book I like is Move Your Stuff, Change Your Life/Karen Rauch Carter or anything on feng shui by Lillian Too.  She’s written a ton of books.