I had a conversation the other day with a friend who said she was trying hard to change her attitude towards dating and finding a great partner. Like many of us, she had certain ideas hardwired into her brain. “I’ll never find anyone good.” “They’re all scum.” “I have no luck meeting anyone.” These are things I’ve frequently heard from my clients. They’ve bought into certain ideas that began years ago. And we tend to repeat them without thinking. Negative thoughts about our jobs, finances, family, love life, or health, permeate our brains all too easily and run on a feedback loop. As they do, they send out a little signal to the Universe which is all too happy to oblige with Confirmation Bias of these beliefs. The Universe isn’t doing it for fun – it’s simply the way that energy works. You feed something into that Great Computer, you get the outcome you’ve subtly asked for.

It may be frustrating to hear that and think you can never change your thoughts and thus, are doomed to keep living the same script. But that’s not the case. To help change it, you need to change your energy.

Think of changing your energy as flipping on a light switch. When you find yourself thinking one of those negative, unhelpful thoughts, do something to break the cycle.

This doesn’t mean turning into a perpetually amped-up happy warrior where EVERYTHING is FABULOUS all the time and you never have a down moment. That’s not realistic and is likely to get you committed. But raising your energy allows you to rewrite the negative thoughts running through your head. Here are a few super-easy ways to do it.

  1. Do something nice for someone else. Pay for a stranger’s coffee, help someone with their grocery bags, call an elderly neighbor, leave a nice tip for a service person. One of my favorite pick-me-ups is to slip a dollar bill into a random newspaper at the convenience store. I imagine the person who discovers it and the little moment of happy surprise they get. Let yourself FEEL the joy of doing something nice in this world, and how it has a positive ripple effect.
  • List 10 things you’re grateful for RIGHT NOW. When things are at their darkest, this may seem impossible, but it’s not. You’re breathing. There’s someone in your life who cares for you. The sun is shining. Find the tiniest things; they all count. Gratitude is a proven, powerful practice and goes a very long way in raising your energy. You won’t necessarily feel like Mary Poppins, especially if you’re down, but you’ll definitely be in a better place mentally.
  • Get out into nature. Even if you live in an urban area, visit a garden center, local park, even a flower shop, to soak in a little of the natural beauty of our world.

The simple truth is that when you feel positive energy flowing through you, you’re in a prime position to “program” something better for yourself. While in that state (no matter how brief), get in the habit of saying something positive about the thing you want to change (“I’m attracting my perfect partner,” “I have a great new job.”).

Like the one in your house, your emotional light switch doesn’t have to stay on all the time (that would be seriously exhausting). But turn it on whenever you can as a tool to help replace the negative thoughts that aren’t getting you anywhere.

Remember: Flip the switch + a positive thought = happy change.

OK, so this has been kind of a long way to explain that “raising your vibration” really isn’t that complicated.  Keep it simple, find little moments of joy, be consistent, and know that you have a lot more power than you know to create a great life.

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