When Fear Gets In Your Way….Kick Its Bony Ass
I’ve often said that our gut instinct, our natural intuition, is something we must pay attention to. One of my favorite sayings is: “Intuition is wisdom in reverse” – meaning, we knew we should’ve done (or not done) such and such.
But we may have ignored that for the more cerebral aspect of the situation. And we live to smack ourselves in the head over our overthinking of the situation.
In theory, following our “gut” should be easy. But there’s one thing in particular that can really throw it off.
The other day, I read a client who admitted that her own “gut instinct” was being clouded over by Fear. Normally, she would know what to do – and feel good about it– but in this case, she was all over the map. No surprise there: Fear is unbelievably consuming. So she reached out to me as a neutral party to sort things out.
When you’re trying to deal with something in your life, and find that Fear is getting in the way of making a decision, I have a few suggestions:
-Take a moment to sense “where” your Fear lives in your body. Because Fear is a powerful visceral reaction. For me, I get a cold, sweaty feeling in my stomach.
Now, picture gentle “pink” light shining over and in that place. Many times, Fear feels overwhelming – this “pink” takes the fight out of it. It’s kind of like letting some air out of the balloon, shrinking its size.
Next, imagine this pink light “vacuuming” up the Fear energy. You can also visualize a meter showing how that energy is reducing. The idea is to clear as much of it away from your natural intuitive sense.
-Give your own version of Fear a name and image. Maybe it’s a naughty dwarf. Maybe it’s a giant, slimy green monster. Maybe it’s that awful kid from the “Twilight Zone,” who wishes people into the cornfield. Whatever comes to you. When you can compartmentalize it, you can better control it. The next time that image shows up, call them out. Not to say they will go away entirely – but you can shrink them down to size: “You have no power over me.” “I won’t be held back by you.” “Go away – you’re not welcome here.” These are some suggestions, but you may come up with something better. Like a simple, “Get the F outta here” (sorry, I live in Jersey…)
The idea is to reclaim your own power over this destructive emotion.
-Fear is like a boat anchor, slowing us – even dragging us – down. So picture either a giant pair of scissors or maybe a pair of industrial-strength bolt cutters. Take a moment to get quiet, and picture them cutting the Fear away from you. Really see and feel it.
And at the end of the day, if nothing else works, let Fear inspire you. You KNOW that it’s designed to hold you back from your best life, so don’t let it. Tell Fear that it’s pushing you to choose better, to utilize your unique smarts and move forward.
Bottom line: cut that scary bitch down to size and tell her she’s working for YOU now.
I’ve been experimenting with the things that freak me out – and letting Fear be a partner of sorts. I tell it that I’m gonna take that funky energy and direct it into something positive, rather than letting it keep me afraid. Action – of any kind (even the small kind) – is a powerful antidote.
But of course, if after all of this – like the client I mentioned above—you need a neutral party to validate or calibrate your choices, get in touch! There’s no shame in a second opinion.