Tag: goals

What Does “Manifesting” Mean?

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So I pulled this card today from my Angel Deck:

Like many of us, I love the idea of “manifesting” what we want. It feels like “magic.” Just say something like “Abracadabra!” and presto, what we want shows up.

But I’ve been thinking about it. It is both “easy” and “not so easy.” The “easy” part is aligning with Universal principles of energy, frequency — those things you’re likely familiar with from The Law of Attraction and similar books.

The “not so easy” part comes from staying consistent, patient, and somewhat realistic. This is not to rain on your particular parade — but rather, to maintain some flexible edges to your goal.

An example: before everything shut down, I had a dentist appointment. The hygienist cleaning my teeth went on and on…and ON…about how she wanted to be a movie star. I mean, it was kinda cute — but kinda endless. No disrespect, but she was middle-aged with a family and no apparent way to get to Hollywood. She talked a lot about glamazons like Angelina Jolie. The odds are that — like many aspiring actors — she wouldn’t make it. However, perhaps she’d find work as a bit player or character actress. Maybe even work in local theater.

I asked her (when the little suction thingy was out of my mouth) if she was taking classes or finding any contacts to further her dream. Her answer? No. She was just…dreaming.

Dreams are nice. We all have them. But if you truly are hoping for something to come of that dream, there are things that must be done.

This is part of the Manifestation thing. It starts with your intention. That intention then needs some “focus.” Getting back to the hygienist, I would ask her “why” she wanted to be a movie star? The creativity? The fame? The glamour? Those kinds of questions help you drill down to the core of your goal.

Once you have that, you now have the match to light the Manifestation Fire. For example, “I want to be a movie star” can now shift to “I want to express myself to an audience, to get some recognition for my unique self.” Or along those lines. Your goal can come in a different form, yet deliver the same satisfaction.

So what are the techniques that align with Manifestation and help draw your dream closer? The idea behind this concept is that powerful energy — like the yearning you feel in your gut –sends out a signal to the Universe. However, there’s a little bit of a tightrope involved. Wanting it “too much” clamps down on things. It’s like that old adage about holding water in your palm: grip it too tightly and it squeezes out through your fingers. Think in terms of keeping a “light attention” on your goal; keep it as simple as you can and don’t “beg” too much (this is where the consistency and patience that I mentioned above comes in).

-Visualization. This is creating a sort of daydream in your head, imagining this goal coming to pass. How does it look, feel, smell? The more physicality you can add, the better. Again — that reaches into your gut. Have fun with it; see where it takes you. Do it on the regular, like maybe as you fall asleep at night, or washing your hair in the shower.

-Written Affirmations: Write down your goal and post it somewhere as a regular “reminder.” I’m not a fan of those who post dozens of them all over their bathroom mirror; again, that’s “pushing it,” at least in my opinion. Find a way to regularly remind yourself, like setting one on your phone –but don’t get all desperate. As with needy exes, that’s never a good look.

-Verbal Affirmations: A variation on the above, where you state something out loud (hopefully, not in the middle of a church service). The advantage of this is you can add a little of that emotional “oomph”. But again, keep it simple. P.S. — A variation on this is Buddhist “chanting.” Tina Turner credits it with saving her career (and life) at a dark time, and its something I have on my list to check into. Again, it’s all about aligning with the energy of the Universe — in your own unique way.

Manifestation is a tool given to us by the Universe. It can be a reminder that we are “co-creators” with the Universe. I’m fond of telling my clients that if they just take a tiny step towards their dream, the Universe takes one in their direction. Work with this awesome partner to bring something to life. Be patient, be consistent, be open — and trust in the energy available to us.

How Your Future Shows Up

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So I’m laying out the cards, and I see a change coming.  A new job, new lover, a shift in living situation.  Something awesome and positive.  But then the client leans across the table and starts reciting how they expect their new lover, new job, new fill-in-the-blank to appear.

“Well, I know someone who knows someone like that, and we met at a party last year, so I think its him….” [ It’s not].

“So OK,  my boss is talking about retiring which will make a space for me to move up, so then Sheila will probably go to Accounts Payable and then.….” [Wrong again].

I get it.  We all want a super-clear path to our future, one with no pholes, stoplights or tacky tourist traps.

Like this.
Like this.

I’m happy to oblige as best I can, but most of the times when I read, I see the destination with a fuzzy glow around it.  This is a reminder that the details of how something will manifest have yet to be fully determined.

And the more we cling to our own version of the details, the more we narrow the path to getting there and block out some pretty kickass options.

Years ago, my friend and I were first learning about Creative Visualization.  One of the key tenets is to get very detailed about what you want.   She wanted a new boyfriend, so she wrote down everything – and I mean everything – that she desired.  Four pages worth.  Back and front.

It was a little like this.
It was a little like this.

I’m all for having a clear vision – but too many details or expectations can drag it down.

To me, drilling down to the core of what you want simplifies that process.  And to get to that essence, think about how you want to feel with that thing/goal/person in your life.

Feelings are like lighter fluid to a dream.

Get cookin' on your dream -- and make it well-done.
Get cookin’ on your dream — and make it well-done.

Experiencing the emotion of a goal provides a potent, simple beacon that helps the Universe bring it your way. Conversely, trying to maintain a million details in your head only mucks up the works.  It’s like herding cats.

My girlfriend could have made her man-hunting job way easier by thinking about how she wanted to feel in that new relationship: safe, loved, appreciated for her wicked sense of humor.  Maybe the brown hair, build like Jean Claude Van Damme and penchant for collecting African art wouldn’t be so important if she got the emotional outcome that she wanted.

My philosophy is, you don’t have to do all the heavy lifting alone; keep the simple essence in mind, gently hold onto the feeling and let the Universe meet you halfway.  Let it surprise you.

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This requires letting go of the handlebars.   Remember how scary that felt?  But when you did, and the bike flew along on its own, it was a total rush.  And you got where you were going having had a whole lot more fun.

Got questions of your own?  Hit me up at the website.

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A Secret About “The Secret”

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I’ve recently been revisiting that book, The Secret.  It’s not quite as trendy as it was about 5 years back, but its discussion of the Law of Attraction is as relevant as ever.

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The book’s thesis – that thoughts are magnetic –feels right to me, and is being backed up by science.  Focusing your mental and emotional energy on a particular goal helps align it with the creation energy all around us.

Buutttt….how do you focus all that awesome energy when you don’t really know what you want?  Or your “wish list” changes from week to week?  Let me tell ya, as a kid, writing my list out for Santa was a bitch.

"Wait, I also want a Barbie...and, oh, wait, maybe not that, but...."
“Wait, I also want a Barbie…and, oh, wait, maybe not that, but….”

Needless to say, when your goals change as much as Madonna’s face, the Law of Attraction is just busy trying to keep track.

Yeah, I went there.
Yeah, I went there.

So here’s an awesome exercise I learned from Miss Oprah:

1)  Pick an area of your life you’d like to change:  your body, your lovelife, your work,  Whatever.

2) Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle.  On the one side write “What I Never Want Again.”  On the other, “What I Do Want.”

3) Now think about your goal.  Let’s say it’s a better love life.  Think about your last (or current) partner.  What about that relationship really, really bugs/bugged you? Go for the first things that come to mind:  the fact that he/she drank more than Snooki?  The way they clammed up whenever you really needed to share your feelings?  The back that had more hair  on it than a Yeti?

"I never want a girlfriend who maintains a blood-alcohol level of 3.0."
“I never want a girlfriend who maintains a blood-alcohol level of 3.0.”

Don’t drill down into every pesky little annoyance; stick to broad strokes to begin with.  Write them down on the one side of your list.

4) OK, so the things that you NEVER want to experience again?  The exact opposite is what you DO want.  Example: “I never want someone who drinks ‘til they puke” leads to “I want a partner who’s sober or only drinks a little.” Example: “I never want someone who ignores me when I need a hug” becomes “I want someone who is affectionate and attentive.”

This is a really fascinating exercise.  I find that it really helps you zero in on the core essence of what you want.  Its kinda like a dose of Ritalin for a jumpy brain.

And it will help the Law of Attraction know where to find you.