Tag: personal growth

Letting Go of the Past

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It’s been a long, cold, lonely winter, hasn’t it?  Here in New Jersey, winter truly made us her bitch.  But before we know it, the snow will be gone, the grass growing and I’ll be elbow-deep in mulch and new plants again. The cold nights and biting winds will be in the past.  Thank the Lord.

It puts me in mind of this Tarot card.   I love it when this one turns up in a spread.  The Sun represents coming out of the dark and back into the light.  One is reborn, with the sunshine illuminating a fresh new path.

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The Sun is about putting the past behind us, once and for all.  Notice that wall?  It’s keeping the past where it belongs, without it leaching through into the present moment.  Sunflowers represent a spiritual barrier, reminding us that the past has contributed to our growth, but it doesn’t need to keep influencing us.

See that kid riding nekkid?  That’s you, reborn.  Wheee!

I’ve had numerous clients fearful that their past will continue to determine their future possiblities.  They’re being held hostage by things that are overwith.  The past is like a nasty wad of gum on their shoe.

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Take a moment to think about the issues in your life:  what still haunts you?  When you think of a problem, what’s your first thought about it (“I always do that….” “Ever since then, I’ve never had a good job…”  “I’m a loser when it comes to love”….”Mom always said I was [fill in the blank]….”

How often do those old echoes  come up during the day?  Really pay attention to your default thought process.   Make a note of everything that goes through your head, carrying a trace of the past.  When you catch yourself, write it down….then burn it.  See the past going up in smoke.  Literally.

Because the past is overwith.  Done.  Finito.  If you can see it as having taught you something, you can move forward in a stronger, clearer way.  The past does not have to define what comes next;  it can inform it in a smarter way, making the future that much smoother.

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Take the lesson of the Sun card as we move into Spring.  And take my favorite Beatles song (well, one of them) as your soundtrack.     “It’s alright….”  [And remember, I‘m always here if you need a reading to see what’s on the horizon…]

The “Repeat” Button: Why the Same Crap Keeps Happening

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I read a client the other night who was beyond frustrated at her dating situation.  Just when she thought she’d met a great guy, he shut down on her about 2 weeks in.  It was all going along so well, and  then – pffft.

After her third smackdown, she asked, “Why does this keep happening to me?”

It’s mystifying and infuriating when something crappy keeps turning up again and again in your life.  It’s like a sick joke.  Here’s my take on it:

There’s a lesson you’re not getting.

...it feels so good when  you stop!
…it feels so good when you stop!

It’s easy to lay the blame on the lousy partner, awful boss or your lifelong streak of “bad luck” —  but that’s only half of the equation.  When you keep winding up with the same results (or lack thereof), the Universe is putting a big, fat mirror up to your face and asking, “Yo, sweetie —  why so dense?”

Every blotch on our life is telling us something.  In the case of my Disappointed Dater, I got a “ping” from Spirit that she needed to find the common thread in her last four relationships (going back to her ex).  At first, she didn’t see anything, but we pressed on.  Turns out that every one of her guys was severely, emotionally limited.  They could only go ‘so far’ before they armored up.  They were great on the first few dates, but they burned hot and fast – and out.  The “a-ha!” came when she realized that she and her ex only got together because he was unavailable a lot – and a part-time lover was all she could handle at the time.

So that’s what she continued to get.

The reading continued with us drilling down into how she was going to open herself up to a more complete relationship.  Until she did that, she’d only attract guys who were, emotionally, about an inch deep.  But if she was brave enough to look at her own role in this creation, she’d have the insights that would help her make different choices.

You can apply this same reasoning to literally everything that’s not quite right in your own life:  a health situation (check out Louise Hay’’s wonderful books on the emotional connections to illness), your finances, your family.  How are you setting booby-traps for yourself?  What’s your role?    When the same situation keeps presenting itself, the Universe is throwing a pop quiz your way.  And it will keep coming until you turn the paper over and take the damn test.

The Judgement card in the Tarot is all about this.  The angel is blowing the horn of awakening, and the people are rising from the dead.  They have literally been reborn after enduring a tough lesson.  Things are different, because they took a long, hard look in the mirror.

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This may seem a little daunting or depressing, when we’re so accustomed to pointing the finger at outside circumstances. But really, that takes your power away, leaving those same “outside circumstances” in charge.   Maybe Mr. Emotionally Frigid will get himself together or maybe he won’t.  Maybe your boss will stop being such a tool or maybe he won’t.  Maybe your finances will get better or maybe they won’t.  You can keep waiting for the “other” to come around, or you can look at your part in the “why”  (even if it’s the tiniest bit) and break the logjam.

The biggest part of the word “Blame” is “lame.”   Stop focusing your frustration or anger outward and use that energy to see what you need to learn.  It’s scary, but its also liberating.  And you’ll finally pass the pop quiz.

I’d love to hear your comments about your own life.   And remember to drop by my site, whenever.

Connecting with Spirit Guides

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I was recently asked, “How can I better connect with my guides and channel my higher self?”  Or something like that.

Quick refresher course:  each of us has a spirit guide, there to help us stay on track with the life plan the two of you designed before we incarnated.  You both set certain goals together to help you with your spiritual growth.  Unfortunately, the minute we’re born, that plan gets fuzzy in our human brain.  It’s like trying to recall a dream.

But your guide stays clear, and if you learn to connect with him/her, they can help you get back on track.  I shared a meditation to meet your guide here.

Working with your guide involves regular meditation.  That’s the space between the worlds where the two of you can meet.  Meditation helps you become aware of your guide’s unique presence.  The energy changes; you may “feel” them, or hear their voice.

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By regularly connecting with your guide, you make it easier to sense them in everyday life.  It’s like when you call up a trusted friend to talk over a problem; you need to know their number first.

So make it a point to meditate on a regular basis, and to invite your guide to connect with you, just to hang out together.

This is also just common courtesy; don’t you hate those friends that only talk to you when they need something?  Don’t be that person.

Your guide’s job is not to make troubles magically disappear; but they will give you the tools and inspiration to navigate them more effectively.  They are a great resource when you’re struggling with a decision or problem.

Your guide’s help comes in the form of new ideas, helpful people, little intuitive “nudges,”  information that you run across online, a dream.  Your job is to pay attention and act on this wisdom.   The more you do this, the easier it becomes to access this wonderful source of help.  And the smoother your journey becomes.

The process of regularly connecting to your guide also strengthens your awareness of what lies beyond our everyday headaches.  It provides an uber-reality check that puts it all in perspective and reminds us that we are all just souls having a human experience.

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How A Psychic Can Help Your Love Life

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As a psychic, the subject of relationships is one of the Top Three questions I get (the other two being money and career, in case you were wondering).  Love is a straight-up crazy ride, so no surprise that psychics get so much business.

Therapists are one way to sort out your love life; so are intuitives.  We offer a different approach to issues of the heart, an unconventional source of information that can give you fresh insights.

Naturally, every client’s story is different, but these are the themes that come up repeatedly.  Any of ‘em ring a bell?

1)            “WHY AM I STILL SINGLE?”

Clearly, there are some practical issues. Like if you spend your time on the couch watching re-runs instead of putting yourself out into the world: just so you know, the Relationship Fairy will not be delivering someone by FedEx.

Not the way to woo the ladies...
Not the way to woo the ladies…

But outside of this, I often pick up on deep wounds that have yet to heal or unresolved fears.  All that works like a big “STOP” sign to a relationship.  What is it that you need to break down?

2)            “WHY ISN’T/DIDN’T THE RELATIONSHIP WORK?”

Relationships come with issues as standard equipment. Learning to work through them advances our growth, but its no guarantee that we’ll grow at the same rate as our partner.

"I'll have a side of Committment Issues with that Communication Breakdown...."
“I’ll have a side of Committment Issues with that Communication Breakdown….”

Many times people simply end their journey together.  They’ve learned all they’re going to and its healthier to just move on. Its my job to pick up whether there are lessons still in the pipeline or if its time to let go.  If that’s the case, I can also provide the “coming attractions” reel of what will fill that void.  Because Nature abhors a vacuum.

3)            “WHY DO I KEEP MEETING THE SAME LOSER?”

Because you’re not paying attention.  Repeating a pattern means you haven’t learned something.  So the same person/scenario keeps showing up, but in different guises.  What is it you’re missing?  What do you need to change?

Lord, have mercy,
Lord, have mercy,

No matter how much of a dirtbag that person might be, or if something is “all their fault,” you have a role to play in the situation.  Yes, really.  What is that role and how can you break free of it?  As they say, “it takes two to tango” and a session with a good psychic may teach you some new steps in the dance of love.

Got questions about your own relationship(s)?  I’m here.

3.5 Reasons You Need A Psychic

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The way I see it, you need these on speed-dial: a plumber, mechanic, lawyer, and in my house, a chicken place that delivers.

I would add to that, a good psychic.

I’m not talking about hitting up Madame Lasagna at the boardwalk. I’m talking about those of us who are truly, sharply tuned in to the intuitive side.  That kind of information gives you a new (and sometimes better) way to deal with modern challenges.

For the record, this is NOT me.
For the record, this is NOT me.

Ever since the first human wondered if the person in the next cave over liked them or not, humans have sought ways to see what couldn’t be determined by other means.   Psychic ability lets us pull back from what’s in front of us, and sense other things at play.  The psychic’s brain downloads on a completely different channel and offers another source of information.

Intuition is a nice counterbalance to the super-tech, pointy-headed vibe of this 21st century life.  It’s more organic. Your iPhone can do a lot of things, but picking up psychic info ain’t on the list.

Can find you a restaurant, can't solve your relationship crisis.
Can find you a restaurant, can’t solve your relationship crisis.

Maybe that’s why I’ve seen such a huge increase in people coming for a reading whom you might not expect: a tough Irish cop, a psychoanalyst, a surgeon, for starters.  They’re finding a new way around their problems, by tapping into this age-old data stream.

If you’re still kicking the idea around, here are my 3.5 reasons to consider a psychic.

Reason #1:  WE SEE THE BIG PICTURE – THE REALLY BIIIIIG PICTURE

As a psychic, I’m focused on the particular issue you bring me, but I’m also “pulling back” to see what else is going on around its edges.  It’s kind of like Google Earth.  Many times, I pick up on things affecting it that you weren’t aware of:  past-life influences, karma, what’s up with the other people involved.  That kind of intel gives you a new perspective on why and where you’re stuck.  (Even if you’re not sold on the idea of past lives or karma, admit it – it sounds interesting, doesn’t it?)

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Can this help me find where I parked at the mall?

Reason #2 WE GIVE YOU A DETOUR AROUND THE ROADBLOCKS

When the same annoying situation/person keeps showing up in your life, there’s a reason.  Yes, really.   The Universe is trying to get your attention, or to provide a lesson.  What is that lesson?  An intuitive can give you the crib sheet and show you how to finally move forward.

Even around this....
Even around this….

Reason #3   A READING GETS YOU OUT OF YOUR HEAD

Check the frownlines on your face: we spend so much time grinding our mental gears, trying to work out a solution to a problem.

A reading might save you on some Botox. Just sayin.
A reading might save you on some Botox. Just sayin.

Sometimes, you need to take the brain out of it – and see what instinct and the heart has to say.  That’s the specialty of a psychic.  Add that info to the intellectual mix, your own knowledge of the situation and you’ve got something you can really work with in solving a problem.

Reason #3.5  YOUR DEAD GRANNY WANTS TO SAY “’SUP?”

Not all psychics are mediums – meaning, possessing the ability to connect with those on the Other Side.  But for those who do have that particular channel on their radio, it can be a powerful experience for the client.  My motto is, “It’s not a reading ‘til someone’s crying.”

Tools of the trade.
Tools of the trade.

Connecting with someone you’ve lost  is incredibly therapeutic.  I’ve had clients finally be able to drop all kinds of baggage after getting a message from someone who’s crossed over.  It’s not only intensely liberating, it’s a big comfort, as well.   The right psychic-medium can hook you up on that channel.

When it comes to finding an intuitive, I strongly believe in personal recommendations.  You want a good fit – and a truly professional intuitive won’t mind if he/she isn’t the right one for you.

Let me just add that a responsible psychic will only ask for his/her standard fee (and not hit you up for “extras,” like “removing curses”); and if someone’s issues are above their paygrade, they’ll suggest a qualified mental health professional.

At any rate, if you’ve ever rolled your eyes at the thought of consulting a psychic, open your mind.  This ancient art is more 21st century than you think.

How the Dead See Us

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We’re hitting the Memorial Day weekend, and although its become associated with barbecues, beer and that scary moment when you display your winter-white legs in shorts for the first time, it really IS about “memorial” — as in, remembering those who’ve passed on in service to our country.

Whether you’ve lost a military family member — or any family member or friend — I want you to know that they will probably be at that barbecue with you.  When someone crosses over, it does not mean that they cease to be involved or aware of life on this side of the veil.  To the contrary: they’re still keeping an eye out for us.

To me, crossing over is like graduating from high school.  You may be heading to college, but you’re still in touch with those kids a grade or two behind.  If those “kids” are family members, you want to keep in the loop, maybe not quite as much as when you were alive — but still.

You’d be surprised at how many times a spirit has let me know that they were at a special birthday or graduation.  They know about a new grandchild — or even the new addition you put on the house.  The point is, they keep in touch.  It’s like they’re checking your Facebook page.  So you might want to keep the sketchier “selfies” off of it.  Just a suggestion.

Anyway, those who we are deeply linked to, either by blood or circumstance, remain in our karmic phone book.  They are busy with new experiences on spirit-side, but they don’t forget us.  In fact, they’re closer than we think.

Most of us think that death takes us to a place far, far away; but in reality, they’ve just switched into a higher energy form. They move so fast that we can’t see them.  Hey, Star Trek fans.  ‘Memba that episode where Kirk is “sped up” by some alien chick?  Here’s a refresher:

That’s kind of like how it is for our loved ones on the Other Side.  They resonate at a level that we don’t easily experience; dimensionally, they live about three feet off of our ground.

For them to “appear” to us is not easy.  They must slow down their vibration, which takes some doing.  As a medium, I need to raise mine as they lower theirs — and then we meet somewhere in the middle, energetically speaking.  When they  show themselves to a non-medium, the process is even harder, so be super-grateful for that gift.

Because the process is tricky is one reason you may not see a loved one soon after their passing.  They’re getting used to their new state; its like falling asleep as plain old dumpy you and waking up as Angelina Jolie.  Takes some getting used to.  That bit of down time is good for us, as it lets us adjust to this life without that person.  Not fun, not easy, but necessary for our growth.  Wanting to “see” them again is a natural response, but being too desperate and needy isn’t good for them or you.

Grief is a powerful teacher.  And understanding that our loved ones continue to live on, albeit in a different form, takes time.  Just know that they are as close as your thoughts and memories.

Happy Memorial Day.

Grow Some Magic: Planting A Spiritual Garden

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Winter has had a white-knuckled grip on us this year, hasn’t it?  My sister in Minneapolis reports more snow….in mid-April.  But here in New Jersey, I can FINALLY see things starting to pop up  and I’m making my list of magical plants to add to my garden this year.

Lavender is one of my favorite perennials.  It smells wonderful and is good for helping you chill out.  But it’s also good for attracting love; rub some of it on your clothes to send out the vibe.

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Rosemary has protective properties, so I keep a pot of it near my front door.  I also make a bundle of rosemary and hang it on the front door to attract prosperity.

Sunflowers.  I sooooo love these flowers.  They are pretty magnificent in all their Shaq-sized glory.  When I read and sunflowers appear in my mind’s eye, I take it as a sign of spirit. They are a seriously lucky flower; let them keep watch over your yard, then bring them inside to lighten the heart.

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Marigolds are easy to grow, and they are a good flower for anyone who wants to further their career.  They bring prosperity and success, but they also help keep negative energy away.  Traditions says they’ll also repel pain in the ass neighbors or visitors (hear that, Guy-Who-Keeps-Placing-Chinese-Menus-In-My Door?)

Morning Glory draws happiness and tranquility and Hibiscus draws love.  And of course, I have Catnip for the boys to roll around in.

I have a couple of Holly around my front door, mainly because they’re so beautiful.  But they also serve as protection.  I’ve heard that putting a few holly leaves under your bed will ensure a good night’s sleep.

Dandelions usually fall victim to the weed spray, but I’m learning to make peace with them.   They’ve been used for centuries for purification and healing, and planting them in the northwest corner of your property will help bring about positive change.  I don’t plan to actually plant the little buggers, but will let them co-exist with the grass this year.

My father and grandfather had a green thumb when it came to roses.  Me?  Not so much.  But I keep trying.  Roses raise the love vibration (no wonder we give them for Valentine’s Day) but they are also welcoming to the nature spirits.  If you place some random rose petals around your home, it will take down any janky vibes.  Will it make your teenager less sulky?  Um, can anything do that?

Speaking of roses, I have a metal archway and plan to train them over it.  Legend goes that walking beneath a bramble-covered archway will cure just about any ailment.  Except maybe hangovers.

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Making a garden inviting to the nature spirits will bring a wonderfully peaceful energy.  I keep one small corner of my yard a little “wild.”  No weeding or lawnmowing allowed.  This is where those little guys can hang out.  Every so often I leave a little fruit or some crumbled cookies out for them.  Whether its the fairies or raccoons snarfing them down, no matter — the point is to let those entities know they’re welcome.

"Just leave the Fed X package....I'm in the shower."
“Just leave the Fed X package….I’m in the shower.”

For this same reason, don’t get too cheesed off if the birds eat some of your fruit plants.  Sharing your harvest is good karma.

Some of the other elements of my magical garden this year will include a simple do-it-yourself fountain (sounds nice and the birds like the water), plenty of windchimes and birdfeeders.  But the most important of them all?  A hammock, where I can take it allllll in. Preferably with a glass of wine in hand.

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How to Meet Your Spirit Guide

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I’ve written previously on the subject of spirit guides, how we all have them and how they stand at the ready to help you get through all the potholes of life.

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Quick review:  before we incarnate, we make a deal with a fellow spirit.  For our part, we agree to take on the hairy experience of human life – which is jampacked with experiences and relationships designed to help our soul evolve.  For their part, they stay on the other side, keeping an eye on our progress and helping us stay on track.

"Dealt with bad boss? Check.  Dealing with money issues?  Check..."
“Dealt with bad boss? Check. Dealing with money issues? Check…”

Whether we know they’re there or not, they do their best to offer opportunities, new people, coincidences and info that — if we pay attention — can help us keep moving in the right direction.  (This is a super-short overview of the subject.  A couple of great books on the subject are Ask Your Guides by Sonia Choquette and Spirit Guides by Iris Belhayes and Molly Sullivan).  Moving on.

This particular spirit guide is the big kahuna; there will be other guides whom you can call on when you need help with something specific.  For example, a “doctor” guide can assist with a health issue, or a “parenting” guide with kids.  They come and go, but your main guide is always there.

Of course, the process of working with guides is way easier if we can recognize them and consciously develop a relationship.  Here’s a way to meet your guy…or gal.

               MEDITATION TO MEET YOUR MAIN SPIRIT GUIDE

Start by placing a notepad nearby to jot down your experience afterwards.  Close your eyes and take a few deep centering breaths.  Envision yourself surrounded by protective white light.  You are completely relaxed and safe in this space.

Now see a beautiful garden path.  You’re surrounded by lush greenery and flowers.  The path slopes gently downwards into a wood.  Walk along this path, enjoying the scenery as you go down, down, down.

You see a cottage in the distance.  Continue walking downwards on the path, drawing nearer to it.

You arrive at the cottage.  Notice how it looks.  Notice the doors and windows.  There’s a charming brass knocker on the door.   Lift it and hear it fall, announcing your arrival.  Now open the door and step inside.

There’s a gentle fire burning in the fireplace. There are two comfy, overstuffed chairs in front of it.  One is for you.  And the other is for your guide.  Who is sitting there?  What do they look like?  What are they wearing?  Keep in mind, they may surprise you.  You may expect them to be in long white robes, but be open. I had one guide show himself as a white man wearing buckskin — he had been a woodsman in a previous life, kind of a “Jeremiah Johnson.”  The point is to go with what you first see.

Now ask your guide their name.  Again, the name may surprise you.  When I first did this exercise, my guide said his name was something like “Rael.”  Well, that is just waaay too out there for me, so I asked  if I could call him “Ray” instead.  Now he shows up wearing a pair of sunglasses like Ray Charles.  That works with my sense of humor.

OK, so now you’re sitting in your chair with your guide.  Ask him if he has a message for you.  It may be short.  Ask him how he will identify himself in your daily life.  With “Ray,” I know he’s around when any Ray Charles music comes up on my iPod.  In your case, maybe your guide will let you know they’re there through a symbol, a feeling (like tingles or cold chills) even a smell.  Again, stay open and go with the first thing that hits you.

Tell your guide that you appreciate them being there for you and that you want to work more closely with them as you move forward.  This cottage will be a place you can meet in future meditations.  This is also where you will be introduced by your guide to any other spirit helpers.

Now, its time to leave.  Say goodbye to your guide and exit the cottage.   The path stretches out before you, sloping gently upwards.  Walk along this path, feeling the warmth and love you experienced being with your guide.

Continue walking upwards, gently upwards.  You feel yourself coming back to the here and now.  When you’re ready, open your eyes and return to the present.  Jot down your impressions, messages and insights. And — this is important — stay alert for any sign of your guide in your everyday life, and thank them for their presence.

You don’t have to go into a meditation every time you need help (good if you happen to be driving)– just ask.  But it’s a good practice to regularly spend time meditating and building a relationship with your spirit guide.  It will make it easier to interact with them, but mostly, it’s just good manners.  You know those “friends” who only call when they need something?  Don’t be one of them.

You know who I'm talking about....
You know who I’m talking about….

To me, spirit guides are a wonderful resource for navigating the ups and downs of life.  Like factory air conditioning and OnStar, they come standard with our life.  Why not use them to make yours run smoother?

Ever have an encounter with a guide?  Spill it in the comments!

Back-To-School….and Fearless

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My great-niece, Ella Ruby, starts 2nd grade today.  She is totally chuffed, excited about her new teacher, backpack and classroom.  She doesn’t care that she knows nothing about 2nd grade math– she just plans to tackle it and get as many gold stars as she can grab.

Ah, for the days of spitballs and forgetting your locker combination….

There’s something wonderful about a 7 year old’s complete lack of fear.  For the most part, everything new is an adventure.  Their little egos are practically non-existent, so they don’t even think about how it will look if they fail.  They just want to try the New Thing.

This is where the 8 of Pentacles comes in.  While I don’t play favorites with the Tarot cards, I admit that I love when this one comes up.  The message is an encouraging one — it means that whatever you’re faced with, even if you know zilch about it, you’re gonna totally dominate.  The card is nicknamed “the talent card,” revealing hidden abilities.

Most of the time when it appears in a spread, my client has a hard time believing that they’ll be able to pull off whatever that hidden ability may be (“I don’t know ‘nuthin’ ’bout Excel spreadsheets…”).  I remind them of one of my favorite quotes from Teddy Roosevelt: “When you are asked if you can do a job, tell ’em, ‘Certainly I can!’ Then get busy and find out how to do it.”

Can’t argue with a guy sporting such a fierce ‘stache…

A few months back, I got a call at 4:30 PM inviting me to do some copywriting for a start-up tech firm.  There was a conference call less than an hour later — and in that time, I had to Google the firm, download Skype and learn how to use it, and give myself a crash-course in tweeting. I was able to fake my way through the call, and landed a nice gig.

Second-graders like my niece embrace learning — it’s what they do.  Somewhere after graduating, we grownups decided our days of learning were pretty much over.  New things freak us out, make us feel uncertain.  But taking the challenge posed by the 8 of Pentacles is always a good exercise in reaching a little further towards our full potential.  Whether we succeed or fail at it, we still get a gold star for trying.