“Wow! What a reading!….we are still flying high! You are a miracle!” – N.G.
“…Your ears must be ringing because I am constantly singing your praises to my close friends. So many things you told me at our last reading are happening and its simply amazing to see your gift unfold before my eyes…” – D.W.
“…your predictions have been uncanny…you had told my sister our father would send her a sign at her 50th birthday party; as she blew out the candles, the smoke alarm in the restaurant went off…” -N.W.
My kitty Oreo has this little habit. He jumps from the
coffee table onto my chest (ouch) as I lay on the sofa then crosses over my
tummy, down to my feet, back to the coffee table. Rinse and repeat. Several
times. Then he settles down for a nap by my side.
Other times, my cat Pyewacket endlessly circles the house.
Like 3 or 4 full circles. Do any of your critters do similar? They’re not just doing aimless antics – they
are helping your home’s energy (and yours).
Animals are highly sensitive to, as they say in Star Wars,
a “disturbance in the force.” When something is subtly off kilter, they will
use their unique power to help re-establish the balance. This can be in a
physical space or a physical body; how often do you find a pet curling up next
to you when you’re feeling under the weather?
You might notice that, after a visitor has been to your home
–even just the cable guy –your pet will walk around the space with a sense of
purpose. He/she is reestablishing the energy balance.
Animals are deeply sensitive to the vibrations that course
beneath our feet. They are closer to the ground, both literally and
figuratively. They are all about balance, so they utilize their unique radar to
seek out spots that need a reboot. For example, if you ever notice a cat who
has decided to crawl into a spot in your closet, he is sensing some stale
energy that needs to be broken up. They’re like little energetic housecleaners!
So next time there’s a change in your home, pay attention to what your pet is doing. And thank them for helping keep things in check.
I know. You – like
me, like everyone else – is “sick to the back teeth” (thank you, my English
friends for that phrase) about hearing about Covid. But hear me out on something I think is an
unexpected side effect of this weird time.
We’ve been in the Covid-tunnel for a year-plus. Lockdown, fear, forced changes to our daily life – and lots (and lots) of downtime. Whether we want it or not. We’ve been scared, haunted, uncertain – and lots of other emotional states.
So, has this time perhaps made us more…psychic?
Yes, it sounds a little odd, but think about it. We’ve been isolated. We’ve had to (largely)
power down from the usual noise. Yes, there have been other things that have
intruded on our brain, but generally, we’ve had more “time” than normal. And
that’s where the psychic nudges have come in. I’ve been hearing about it from
my clients…a lot.
The usual things that tend to distract from the subtle
nudges of the Universe are lessened. That means that the part of our brain –
not to mention our soul – has been freed up to ponder …more.
Let me ask you: what have your dreams been like this last
year? More vivid? Have you had more “hinky” moments just going about your day? Little
weird insights, premonitions? Have you felt more connected to those
closest to you? Even if you haven’t physically been with them, have you “known”
what was happening to them? The same goes for your pets. My cats are so over being
with me each day, but I admit that I “get” what they’re telling me more clearly
than ever before.
My take is this: we’re in the midst of a ginormous shift.
It’s historical, but it’s also metaphysical.
I read Stephen King’s The Stand back in the day (and yes, it scared the crap out of me). One of his more interesting – and eerily prescient – things was to have the characters kind of become “psychically connected.” They sensed and “knew” things in unexplained ways. The technology was shot so they went old-school. Really old school.
I think this is a little bit of what’s going on now. We’re
disconnected in the normal ways, so we tap into our other channels.
If you’ve been feeling a little “woo woo” these days, just
know that Nature is helping us stay connected, stay human, stay grounded. Trust
what you “get.” Follow your instincts. Maybe even jot down any weird dreams or
hunches that come your way. We’re all a bit unmoored – but that can be a good
Times like these have happened before and are in no way
random. They are designed to push us forward, make us wiser, enable us to see
our past idiocy. Like the Black Plague pushed us out of the Dark Ages into the
Renaissance, it’s my hope that the Covid era will lead us to a new (and wiser)
So, sharpen up the point atop your head (just kidding) and
prepare to enter a new phase of being.
Like many of us, I love the idea of “manifesting” what we want. It feels like “magic.” Just say something like “Abracadabra!” and presto, what we want shows up.
But I’ve been thinking about it. It is both “easy” and “not so easy.” The “easy” part is aligning with Universal principles of energy, frequency — those things you’re likely familiar with from The Law of Attraction and similar books.
The “not so easy” part comes from staying consistent, patient, and somewhat realistic. This is not to rain on your particular parade — but rather, to maintain some flexible edges to your goal.
An example: before everything shut down, I had a dentist appointment. The hygienist cleaning my teeth went on and on…and ON…about how she wanted to be a movie star. I mean, it was kinda cute — but kinda endless. No disrespect, but she was middle-aged with a family and no apparent way to get to Hollywood. She talked a lot about glamazons like Angelina Jolie. The odds are that — like many aspiring actors — she wouldn’t make it. However, perhaps she’d find work as a bit player or character actress. Maybe even work in local theater.
I asked her (when the little suction thingy was out of my mouth) if she was taking classes or finding any contacts to further her dream. Her answer? No. She was just…dreaming.
Dreams are nice. We all have them. But if you truly are hoping for something to come of that dream, there are things that must be done.
This is part of the Manifestation thing. It starts with your intention. That intention then needs some “focus.” Getting back to the hygienist, I would ask her “why” she wanted to be a movie star? The creativity? The fame? The glamour? Those kinds of questions help you drill down to the core of your goal.
Once you have that, you now have the match to light the Manifestation Fire. For example, “I want to be a movie star” can now shift to “I want to express myself to an audience, to get some recognition for my unique self.” Or along those lines. Your goal can come in a different form, yet deliver the same satisfaction.
So what are the techniques that align with Manifestation and help draw your dream closer? The idea behind this concept is that powerful energy — like the yearning you feel in your gut –sends out a signal to the Universe. However, there’s a little bit of a tightrope involved. Wanting it “too much” clamps down on things. It’s like that old adage about holding water in your palm: grip it too tightly and it squeezes out through your fingers. Think in terms of keeping a “light attention” on your goal; keep it as simple as you can and don’t “beg” too much (this is where the consistency and patience that I mentioned above comes in).
-Visualization. This is creating a sort of daydream in your head, imagining this goal coming to pass. How does it look, feel, smell? The more physicality you can add, the better. Again — that reaches into your gut. Have fun with it; see where it takes you. Do it on the regular, like maybe as you fall asleep at night, or washing your hair in the shower.
-Written Affirmations: Write down your goal and post it somewhere as a regular “reminder.” I’m not a fan of those who post dozens of them all over their bathroom mirror; again, that’s “pushing it,” at least in my opinion. Find a way to regularly remind yourself, like setting one on your phone –but don’t get all desperate. As with needy exes, that’s never a good look.
-Verbal Affirmations: A variation on the above, where you state something out loud (hopefully, not in the middle of a church service). The advantage of this is you can add a little of that emotional “oomph”. But again, keep it simple. P.S. — A variation on this is Buddhist “chanting.” Tina Turner credits it with saving her career (and life) at a dark time, and its something I have on my list to check into. Again, it’s all about aligning with the energy of the Universe — in your own unique way.
Manifestation is a tool given to us by the Universe. It can be a reminder that we are “co-creators” with the Universe. I’m fond of telling my clients that if they just take a tiny step towards their dream, the Universe takes one in their direction. Work with this awesome partner to bring something to life. Be patient, be consistent, be open — and trust in the energy available to us.
It seems to be a thing around the later part of a year: lots of people leaving us (or as the Lakota say, “Walking on,” which I think is a lovelier way of putting it).
In my world, several people died suddenly in December and earlier this month. I was talking to my stepsister after she called to give me the news about one longtime family friend who passed unexpectedly. With serious pain in her voice, she said, “I am just so sick of all this loss.”
I hear ya.
Another friend of mine recently lost his beloved cat after 23 (!) years. I called him to check in and he texted back that he was just too emotional to even discuss it. I get that.
Losing those close to us is the most ass-kicking, teeth-kicking, rip-your-guts-out experience that humans endure. It is THE big Life Lesson. We are powerless. We have regrets, unanswered questions, and too many unsaid things. We are untethered.
I passionately believe that we incarnate in human form specifically to learn from the unique lessons of mortal life. No matter how developed you may be on Spirit-side, you can’t “think” your way through something, you must experience it in real-time. Like an algebra test, your teacher won’t buy it if you just say that you know it: ya gots to prove it on paper (and show your work).
So we leave the comfy confines of life in the spiritual realms, suit up and shoot ourselves down the waterslide into a limited body and the challenges that come with Living (or as Matthew McConaughey put it in one of my favorite movies, “Dazed and Confused, “ “L-I-V-I-N”).
Loss in all of its forms is one of the most powerful teaching tools since it hits us right in our gut. You have a unique opportunity to review what you might have done better in the relationship. You may see them differently, understand why they did what they did (or why you didn’t). Loss is transformative. Your relationship will never be the same. You’re forced to move on, adapt, confront what might be uncomfortable.
But eventually, you also get the bittersweet joy of reliving happy times, little things about them that you might have taken for granted. This is why I always pull out the family movies at Christmas time and have a good, happy cry. I now see my parents and grandparents in a slightly different light – and it fills my heart.
For those dealing with a loss right now, I know deep in my bones that there will be a time when you can revisit the person or animal that you miss and smile again. You will see how they changed your life. And you will also see them again when it’s your time to take the elevator back up to Spirit Side.
At the most recent funeral I attended, the priest suggested thinking about one of the positive qualities we most remembered about the deceased and working to incorporate it more into our own life. Though not a fan of organized religion, I thought this was very wise.
This is a smart way you can take the gut-punch of Loss and move the needle on your own growth. Because, in the end, that is what it’s there for.
So I had a new client today. During my usual pre-reading process of “organizing,” I asked him what his issues were. The first thing out of his mouth?
“My brother is a sociopathic a**hole.”
Sadly, he’s not the first person I’ve read who have folks in their life who are major, psycho-level, pains-in-the-you know-what. It might be a sibling, a co-worker, a boss, an in-law. Whoever they are, they are as annoying as a piece of gum on your shoe or popcorn stuck in your teeth…
And you’re sort of stuck with them. So how can you deal with these super-annoying types (short of moving out of state, never doing another family gathering…or shooting them – kidding!).
There are certain people who are not easy to get rid of. So here are some useful tips that fall under “triage” – meaning, they’ll help you keep it together.
First: ask Archangel Michael to stand guard. He is awesome at giving you some cover for both the situations and people who make you want to lose your tiny mind. His big sword (with a blue flame) is great at cutting away all that does not serve you. Additionally, any time you need to deal with that person, ask Michael to stand between you and the person who makes you want to ram your head into the wall.
Second: one of my favorite tricks for keeping someone’s janky energy from impacting you is water. One of my friends had a neighbor who drove her nuts. I suggested filling a few Mason jars with water and placing them on the property line (you can also do this in a condo or apartment where a common wall is shared). Water is a traditional “Wiccan” solution for keeping bad stuff from crossing; the result? 1) The neighbor dialed down her annoying behavior, and, not too long after, 2) she moved! You can also use this trick in a meeting, by placing either a glass or bottle of water between you and whoever is a particular pain. Afterwards, pour that water down a storm drain, anywhere other than the plumbing in your home or office. You want it OUT.
A variation on the water trick is writing that person’s name on a slip of paper, then putting it in the freezer.
I’m serious. It’s a harmless yet effective way to keep these folks from impacting us. I’ve had many people in my life successfully use this technique. Try it!
Third: Wear black. I tell my female clients to wear a black bra; male clients can wear a black tee-shirt. But socks or underpants (for both sexes) also works. Black is “bullet-proof.” Next time you have to deal with someone difficult, add anything black to the wardrobe. Think of it like your armor.
The other thing I want to emphasize is this: difficult people are in your life for a reason (yeah, I know – not what you want to hear). Stuff that shows up that’s loud, obnoxious and annoying – and just won’t go away – is meant to teach us something. Maybe it’s Patience…Empathy…Understanding…Whatever.
This doesn’t mean you’re meant to become Maria Von Trapp. It’s a process. But just know that the people who give you a massive case of teeth-grinding TMJ do serve a crazy kind of purpose for making you smarter, stronger, freer in the long run. See them as a ticket to becoming less stressed.
So have a good, long look at those folks and say it loud and proud, “Yup, bitches – you are my ticket to the next level of the game. And I am leaving your sorry a** behind.”
I know how hard it can be (trust me); so if you’re struggling, reach out and let me help sort out your tough situation. Spirit hasn’t failed me yet – and won’t fail you.
Recently, a friend texted me saying that her daughter who is away at college, had suddenly become plagued by a ghost (or something) in the campus housing. It had gotten sooo bad, that she and her housemates were nervous wrecks. Would I reach out and help? Of course.
When I spoke with my friend’s daughter, the girl described lots of noises, doors shutting on their own, things like that. It had just begun happening a couple of weeks earlier, seemingly for no reason. In that time, she and her roommates had become increasingly freaked out – – and had reached out to some other psychic-types (not me, that’s for damn sure) who had NOT helped, namely because those people had told her and her housemates that they now had gone from one spirit to multiple entities. No particular reason for that assessment — but the girls were made completely nuts.
I understood how scared she was. But I had to do the phone equivalent of grabbing her by the shoulders, shaking her and telling her to….CALM THE HELL DOWN.
Being that these girls are 20, they are still susceptible to that squealing/slumber party/”did you hear THAT?!” energy we allllll remember (c’mon, I know you do). Look, when something weird is going on,I know that it’s hard to stay chill — but the more you allow yourself to be terrified, the more that energy feeds whatever is going on around you. It’s a physical law. That’s why I got annoyed at the reports of those other “experts” telling them that now, they had a BIGGER problem. Because they were contributing to the panic.
So, my first piece of advice is to find a way to stay cool. The thing about ghosts is, they really can’t hurt you — and you, as a corporeal being, have way more power in the situation. Often, ghosts don’t even know that you’re there — from their perspective, they’re just on a feedback loop, reliving a moment(s) from their life. My book, OK, So You’re Dead….talks more about this.
Here’s an idea: I told this young lady to treat whatever is going on in her dorm like a “raccoon getting in.” If a raccoon or squirrel or mice get into your house, yes, it’s a pain — but you don’t lose your mind over it. You just deal. So if there are entities or energies that are disturbing the peace, don’t assign any special weight to them: treat them like the bothersome guests that they are, and know that you can generally “exterminate” them.
So why is this activity happening? She had no idea, but generally speaking, paranormal stuff can kick up when an older property is being remodeled, etc. Moving things around in a structure shifts things energetically. It doesn’t always happen, so don’t be afraid to re-do those floors — but it’s a typical reason.
Another reason is when folks “open a door” without knowing what they’re doing — as in playing with Ouija boards, etc. I don’t necessarily believe that connecting with spirit-side via the talking board is evil — but it IS a portal, and if you treat it like a game, you may get some unwanted side-effects. I wrote more about that here.
So if you feel you have unwanted energies in your house, what can you do on a practical level to clear them out — or at least, calm it down? Here are some tips to do your own “ghostbusting.”
-Start by telling the ghost to leave you alone. Let them know that they’re dead and they need to move on to “the Light.” I know, it sounds a little too easy — but it does help. Sadly, many ghosts don’t know they’ve actually passed — so help them cross the finish line.
The trick is to do this when you’re not in an emotional mood: being angry or frightened is not the state you want to be in. When you’re calm is the time to lay down some rules. Think of them like someone who’s lost their way, and you’re the kindly stranger giving them directions to get back home. That’s really the bottom line.
-Sea salt. This is an ancient “go-to” remedy for clearing out negative vibes. If you can, go outside, and starting at the far left corner of the property, begin pouring out the salt, working clockwise and creating a perimeter. If you only have a room or a portion of a building, throw a pinch of the salt (because a big, long line of salt may not be practical), still moving counterclockwise. Pay extra attention to door entrances and windowsills. As you do either ritual, say “I protect my home with this salt. All negative energy must stop.”
-Shielding. The idea is to visualize a protective barrier around your room, home or property overall. Visualization is a powerful practice, and it works. All you need to do is to relax, close your eyes and “walk through” or “around” where you live. “See” the details in your mind’s eye. Spend about 30 seconds or so doing this (it doesn’t have to be a big thing). Now that you’ve done the “mental walk-through,” visualize a big bubble of white light settling around the property. I often think of one of those glass domes you put over pastry. Once you’ve done that, know that nothing bad can penetrate and that you’re safe from all harm.
-Sage. Native Americans frequently burn it to clear out stale energies and clear their holiest spaces. Burning the herb thyme is also said to ward off spirits. Personally, I’ve never done the Thyme thing, but I hear its effective. Let me know your results if you try it!
-Finally, there’s a prayer/chant that is useful to add to the mix. You don’t need to be religious to use it. The term “God” is kind of all-purpose:
“The light of God surrounds us/me.
The love of God enfolds us/me.
The power of God protects us/me.
The presence of God protects us/me.
Wherever we are (I am0, God is.
And all is well.”
The bottom line? If loons like Bill Murray can get ghosts under control, so can you. So don’t freak out!
Finally and as a reminder, I’ll leave you with this one by one of my favorite groups. We are indeed spirits living in a material world.
I’ve been in the psychic/metaphysical world since the mid-1980s. When I first fell into it, I was deeply impressed by the people who seemed so….well, serene and all-knowing. For a Type-A like myself, this had a certain appeal.
I remember the owner of my favorite New Age bookstore (this was way before Barnes and Noble or Amazon carried every damn thing….). His store was incense-soaked, filled with the sounds of wind chimes, Tibetan chants — and his Birkenstocks squeaking across the floor. And he seemed like he’d been to the mountaintop and knew the secrets of the Universe. He always handed me my bag of books with some random spiritual catch-phrase – sincerely offered.
Observing him, I was convinced that delving deeper into spirituality would be my ticket to becoming just as serene and untouched by The World.
Sadly (but not surprisingly), my super-chill bookstore owner went out of business. Mainly, because he let “love and light and Namaste” be his driving force – not things like keeping books or paying taxes. Oh, and apparently, he’d slept with his partner’s wife. So there’s that.
Since those early days, I’ve noticed that a lot of spiritual types easily throw around phrases like “Love and light!” as if they were Skittles. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve taken a course or been at a workshop where I hear these words. Repeatedly. And often given with a hug that lasts just a smidge too long.
But, frequently, the people uttering them are doing just that: uttering them. They use them as a kind of shield, a way to mask very human feelings like fear, jealousy, anger, frustration. “Love and light” is the LAST thing on their mind; I can pretty much tell by the conversation that goes before or after the phrase (#cattybitches).
It’s like that “Seinfeld” episode where George Costanza’s dad keeps uttering “Serenity Now!” as a seeming verbal antidote to annoying things. In the end, he goes nuts.
Look, I’m all for trying to remain positive and offering kind thoughts to others. But I also recognize that outside of extremely advanced spiritual types (and I can only pick out about 8 or 10 of them off the top of my head – like Jesus, Buddha, St. Germain, those guys), most of us struggle to just get through our day without smacking someone in the head with a hammer. Because human life is hard. Even Jesus went gangsta on the money-changers.
Back in the 80s, I was fascinated with a “channeler” named J.Z. Knight. She was an ordinary housewife who claimed she had encountered the spirit of a 3,500 year-old warrior named “Ramtha” — in her kitchen of all things. She began doing public sessions, in which “Ramtha” would enter her body and dispense all kinds of “wisdom.” Eventually, these events drew hundreds of people, including celebrities like Shirley Maclaine. J.Z./Ramtha became a really big deal. And it was all “love and light.” Until her real human side showed up. In spades.
In the beginning, I believe these sessions were honest and true, and a lot of people were helped. But then, came word that she was using her connection to this powerful spirit to encourage her celebrity (meaning: “rich”) clients to invest in her stables of expensive Arabian horses.
Her fakery ultimately caught up with her; “Ramtha” deserted her and she’s now trafficking in UFOs.
The point is, that the most spiritual types among us struggle with being human. Like “Serenity now!”, we can say “love and light” all we want to, but it won’t paper over the less-benign feelings that too often intrude. Psychics, and anyone in that space, need to stay grounded in their humanity, and embrace the fact that we are frail, flawed creatures. We don’t need to put a happy face on it.
The other day, I received one of the most passive-aggressive messages EVER on Facebook – and in the end, she signed off with “Love and Light.”
Yeah sure, honey.
This is what drives me ‘round the bend: nasty feelings covered with a Zen-face emoticon.
The other reason I share my rant is because I also want to remind those on the other end of a reading or whatever, that a psychic, teacher, guru, whomever is NO BETTER THAN YOU ARE. They may have studied different things, read different books, but in the end, they are not someone you should surrender your power to. If what they tell or teach you is useful, great. But please – don’t just blindly follow. At best, you’ll wind up disappointed and angry. At worst, you’ll reveal that “sweet spot” that scammers look for.
Use your common sense. Follow your own gut on whatever information you get, or experience that you have. Trust your feelings on any reading, etc. that you get.
I believe that each of us is here to walk a particular path. People who have explored different belief systems can be helpful in navigating that course – but, speaking as one who’s dipped more than one toe in these particular waters, we don’t possess any special “secret sauce.” We just offer alternate perspectives, insights and talents towards that goal.
When I began reading professionally, I chose the name “The Sensible Psychic,” because – frankly – this whole “love and light” thing annoyed the hell out of me. I preferred – and still do – something more grounded in how we really are, warts and all. So just because some purportedly “spiritual” type lays all kinds of “love and light” on you, keep it in perspective: it’s very likely that –behind the scenes –they’re chewing their fingernails, feeling jealous, insecure or frustrated about something. Because they’re human.
[PS — would love to hear your thoughts on this. Leave me a comment!]
The solar eclipse of 8/21 has been making a lot of news. It’s a rare event, mainly because of the proximity offered specifically in the United States. People have been buying up special goggles to observe it. Old-school types are making those “viewers” out of shoeboxes that some of us remember from grade school.
Yeah, that’s all cool. But such a momentous astrological event has other consequences.
Have you been feeling edgier than usual the last few days? Upcoming eclipse.
Does your life feel like a bunch of confetti thrown up in the air, with the parts landing wherever? Eclipse.
Basically, this big solar eclipse is Changing The Game – like it or not. The shifting energies around the event are forcing us to review where we’re at, adapt, mix things up.
A solar eclipse triggers rapid change, so hang on. Unlike lunar eclipses, which also bring change, but of the more “internal” kind, solar energy is much more “outer-directed.” Stuff on the outside of our life will change – and that requires an ability to vamp, look for a different path, figure out another way around the new obstacles put in our way. So stay flexible in your thinking.
Take the powerful energy of this solar eclipse and put it to work for you; thinking outside of the box is essential. Get creative – even outrageous. Brainstorm every crazy solution, and don’t be shy.
“Game of Thrones” fans, think of Daenerys riding her dragon into battle: use that (somewhat) scary solar/fire energy to give a new shot to your dreams. Be bold, step into the light and heat and see where it takes you. This could be just what you’ve needed to get things moving in the right direction.
Years ago, one of my friends seriously got into something called “Sacred Geometry.” While describing it to me, she pretty much lost me at the word “geometry” – because I hated it in high school. But the general idea is that the Universe pulses to the vibrations associated with numbers, music and light frequencies.
Paging Mr. Spock.
It also reflects universal patterns that frequently show up in spiritual places like temples, churches and mosques – and within nature. Triangles, spider webs, the inside of shells….these are some examples. That famous drawing by da Vinci of the “Vitruvian Man” is another expression of this principle.
Anyway, another physical manifestation of Sacred Geometry is the “merkaba.” These are crystalline structures that look like three-dimensional, intertwined “stars of David.”
These beautiful forms help assist us with spiritual transformation. Holding one as you meditate can take you to “higher ground,” as Stevie Wonder once sang.
They can assist in any form of healing (which makes them a favorite tool of Reiki Masters, shamans and the like) – and can inspire higher thoughts and states of being. And let’s face it – they just look cool.
You can get merkabas in various crystal forms; the stone they originate from will largely dictate the vibrations. For instance, a merkaba made from rose quartz will have a powerful “love” energy versus one that’s just plain clear quartz.
I consider merkabas an essential tool, and keep one on my reading table in my office. Whether I understand Sacred Geometry or not.
PS — Remember, that powerful merkaba will be at work when I read for you. If you need a session to sort out the tricky parts of your life, get in touch!
I’ve often said that our gut instinct, our natural intuition, is something we must pay attention to. One of my favorite sayings is: “Intuition is wisdom in reverse” – meaning, we knew we should’ve done (or not done) such and such.
But we may have ignored that for the more cerebral aspect of the situation. And we live to smack ourselves in the head over our overthinking of the situation.
In theory, following our “gut” should be easy. But there’s one thing in particular that can really throw it off.
The other day, I read a client who admitted that her own “gut instinct” was being clouded over by Fear. Normally, she would know what to do – and feel good about it– but in this case, she was all over the map. No surprise there: Fear is unbelievably consuming. So she reached out to me as a neutral party to sort things out.
When you’re trying to deal with something in your life, and find that Fear is getting in the way of making a decision, I have a few suggestions:
-Take a moment to sense “where” your Fear lives in your body. Because Fear is a powerful visceral reaction. For me, I get a cold, sweaty feeling in my stomach.
Now, picture gentle “pink” light shining over and in that place. Many times, Fear feels overwhelming – this “pink” takes the fight out of it. It’s kind of like letting some air out of the balloon, shrinking its size.
Next, imagine this pink light “vacuuming” up the Fear energy. You can also visualize a meter showing how that energy is reducing. The idea is to clear as much of it away from your natural intuitive sense.
-Give your own version of Fear a name and image. Maybe it’s a naughty dwarf. Maybe it’s a giant, slimy green monster. Maybe it’s that awful kid from the “Twilight Zone,” who wishes people into the cornfield. Whatever comes to you. When you can compartmentalize it, you can better control it. The next time that image shows up, call them out. Not to say they will go away entirely – but you can shrink them down to size: “You have no power over me.” “I won’t be held back by you.” “Go away – you’re not welcome here.” These are some suggestions, but you may come up with something better. Like a simple, “Get the F outta here” (sorry, I live in Jersey…)
The idea is to reclaim your own power over this destructive emotion.
-Fear is like a boat anchor, slowing us – even dragging us – down. So picture either a giant pair of scissors or maybe a pair of industrial-strength bolt cutters. Take a moment to get quiet, and picture them cutting the Fear away from you. Really see and feel it.
And at the end of the day, if nothing else works, let Fear inspire you. You KNOW that it’s designed to hold you back from your best life, so don’t let it. Tell Fear that it’s pushing you to choose better, to utilize your unique smarts and move forward.
Bottom line: cut that scary bitch down to size and tell her she’s working for YOU now.
I’ve been experimenting with the things that freak me out – and letting Fear be a partner of sorts. I tell it that I’m gonna take that funky energy and direct it into something positive, rather than letting it keep me afraid. Action – of any kind (even the small kind) – is a powerful antidote.
But of course, if after all of this – like the client I mentioned above—you need a neutral party to validate or calibrate your choices, get in touch! There’s no shame in a second opinion.