“Is it OK to talk?” I get this question all the time during a reading. And the answer is, “Absolutely.”
A lot of people seem to think that a vow of silence on their part is required, that somehow, talking during a reading is “cheating.”
But let me stress something: psychics are here to help you. Not to impress you with their mad skillz.
If you ARE impressed that we pick up stuff before you tell us, that’s all good. The bottom line is that you’re there to get guidance and direction, a way to get unstuck. And a conversation with your reader is a good way to do that.
(This is one reason I don’t do parties anymore: I take what I do seriously and don’t want to be seen as some kind of cool party entertainment. But I will have a beer, thank you.)
Anyway, when I start a session, I begin by asking you what areas of your life you want some clarity on. This helps me focus in right away and give you information that will be practical and useful. It makes the most of our time together and gives you something you can use after you leave.
Personally, I hate those, “Oh, just tell me whatever you get…” sessions. To me, that’s like driving in circles around the parking lot. If you’ve decided to get a reading, clearly there’s something going on. Do yourself a favor and take some time to think about what it is.
It’s exciting and gratifying when I pick up information psychically or from the Other Side – but I live for those moments when my client sees a way forward out of his/her problems. How that happens is a technicality.
By a certain age, we’ve all acquired a few things: a credit rating, a droopier ass, an inability to remember why we came into the room. We’ve also acquired more than a passing familiarity with death and the loss of special people.
Like that droopy ass, this is something we’d rather not have to deal with. But we do.
Even though I spend a fair amount of time connecting with the dead, it hasn’t made my own personal losses that much easier. I have felt my mother’s presence many times, but sure wouldn’t mind the chance to hug her again for real. I know that will happen one day, but in the meantime….
You know, I kinda hate to call them “the dead” because they do indeed continue to live in another dimension. They interact with us through our dreams, through little signs (like finding pennies), or by using a medium who is sensitive to their energy.
But I like this exercise, too.
Start by inviting a loved one on the Other Side to meet you in this meditation.
Choose a time when you will be completely relaxed and undisturbed.
Get comfortable and take several deep breaths. Envision a warm ball of white light surrounding and protecting you. Now settle in and focus on your breathing.
Imagine that you’re at the top of a beautiful marble staircase. You begin walking down the steps, noticing how sweet the air is and how peaceful and relaxed you are.
At the bottom of the staircase is a path that winds through a beautiful, lush garden. Step onto this path, noticing the beautiful trees above you, the flowers in bloom and the birdsong over your head. It’s a magical, peaceful place.
Continue focusing on your breath as you walk along this winding path. Ahead is a garden gate. Push the gate open and walk inside. Amidst the greenery and flowers is a marble pavilion, open on all sides. The marble columns glow with light. You can see two comfortable couches inside.
Walk up the steps to this pavilion and settle into one of the couches. The pillows are deep and soft, and you’re totally comfortable.
As you relax in this special place, you hear footsteps on the pavilion stairs. Your loved one has arrived.
Look at them as they settle into the other couch. How do they look? What are they wearing? Don’t be surprised if they appear younger than when they passed.
Just stay in this quiet place for a moment, feeling their presence. They’re so happy to be with you again. Bask in that love.
Now ask them a question. Go with the first response you get. It may be a gesture, they may “show” you something, like a symbol. Or you may hear words. The most important thing is to not doubt what you get. This is really happening.
When its time to leave, thank your loved one for meeting you and give them a hug. Allow this beautiful, eternal energy to flow through you, and know you can be with them any time you want in this special place.
As you leave the pavilion and go back through the gate, you turn once more to see them smiling at you. Walk back along the path to the marble staircase. Walk up the steps, coming back into the present moment. Open your eyes.
It’s a good idea to jot down your experience in a notebook. This will help you notice any information you got in the meditation when it shows up in real life.
And it will.
One day, you will be able to hug your loved one again for real. But in the meantime, the Pavilion is a great meeting place.
I’d love to hear about your experiences after you do this meditation. Leave me the details in the Comments.
“Is my dead grandmother/father/beagle my guardian angel?” I get this question a lot during a session. And the answer is…
Basically, we have three kinds of spirit entities around us: spirit guides, angels and those who’ve crossed over. At different times, and in different ways, they are there for us. Let me break it down:
A spirit guide is someone who has been in human form at least once. They are assigned to us before we incarnate, sort of as a spiritual bodyguard. We sit with them, drawing on a big whiteboard all the things we hope to accomplish or experience in the upcoming life. Their role is to remain on the other side of the veil, helping us to stick to our plan.
Of course, once we’re physically born, we have a hard time remembering The Plan. We get distracted and diverted, but our guide is always there. We just need to ask them to help set us back on the right road. They will put a helpful person in our way, make us notice a particular job listing or an article about a new medical treatment. They want us to succeed; I think of them kind of as the Ultimate Life Coach.
Throughout our time on Earth, we have different guides who help us with many specific things – our health, our parenting skills, our job search. Those guides come and go, but there’s always one main guide who sticks with us from our slap-on-the-butt-and-bawling entry point to our return over the veil. Here’s a way to meet yours.
While spirit guides have had the human experience, a guardian angel hasn’t. Angels are a different breed altogether and possess some truly bad ass energies and powers.
In the Christian tradition, there are nine categories of angels. Seraphim are those closest to God, followed by Cherubim, Thrones, Dominions, Virtues, Powers, Principalities, Archangels and finally, Angels.
It’s a little like the military, with each category having specific purposes and roles. For the sake of this discussion, we’ll stick to garden variety angels.
Your basic Angel is the closest to humankind. Their role is to protect, guide and inspire us. The powers of a guardian angel are truly wondrous; they’re the ones you hear of showing up at crash scenes or natural disasters. So unless your grandma has super-powers, she’s not technically your guardian angel.
Grandma CAN, however, assist you, sort of like a spirit guide, by sending you information, people or other forms of assistance. Unlike a spirit guide, she’s not waiting around, filing her nails and waiting for your call; our loved ones are busy living their spirit life; they hear you when you need them, but aren’t investing all their time in what’s happening over here. I mean, when Nana was alive and moved to Florida, she spent her days playing canasta and working in her yard; she looked forward to your weekly call, but didn’t build her life around it, right? Well, hopefully not. Same with life on the Other Side.
Outside of serious danger, where a guardian angel will step in to help in whatever way they can, the one thing all invisible helpers generally require is…a request. As humans, we’ve been granted free will. If we need help, we need to ask for it. They can’t just butt in, uninvited.
And in that regard, that’s one thing that’s different from most living people we know, amIright?
I’d love to hear your experiences with angels, guides or someone on the Other Side. Share in the Comments. And head over to my website, whenevs.
The way I see it, you need these on speed-dial: a plumber, mechanic, lawyer, and in my house, a chicken place that delivers.
I would add to that, a good psychic.
I’m not talking about hitting up Madame Lasagna at the boardwalk. I’m talking about those of us who are truly, sharply tuned in to the intuitive side. That kind of information gives you a new (and sometimes better) way to deal with modern challenges.
Ever since the first human wondered if the person in the next cave over liked them or not, humans have sought ways to see what couldn’t be determined by other means. Psychic ability lets us pull back from what’s in front of us, and sense other things at play. The psychic’s brain downloads on a completely different channel and offers another source of information.
Intuition is a nice counterbalance to the super-tech, pointy-headed vibe of this 21st century life. It’s more organic. Your iPhone can do a lot of things, but picking up psychic info ain’t on the list.
Maybe that’s why I’ve seen such a huge increase in people coming for a reading whom you might not expect: a tough Irish cop, a psychoanalyst, a surgeon, for starters. They’re finding a new way around their problems, by tapping into this age-old data stream.
If you’re still kicking the idea around, here are my 3.5 reasons to consider a psychic.
Reason #1: WE SEE THE BIG PICTURE – THE REALLY BIIIIIG PICTURE
As a psychic, I’m focused on the particular issue you bring me, but I’m also “pulling back” to see what else is going on around its edges. It’s kind of like Google Earth. Many times, I pick up on things affecting it that you weren’t aware of: past-life influences, karma, what’s up with the other people involved. That kind of intel gives you a new perspective on why and where you’re stuck. (Even if you’re not sold on the idea of past lives or karma, admit it – it sounds interesting, doesn’t it?)
Reason #2 WE GIVE YOU A DETOUR AROUND THE ROADBLOCKS
When the same annoying situation/person keeps showing up in your life, there’s a reason. Yes, really. The Universe is trying to get your attention, or to provide a lesson. What is that lesson? An intuitive can give you the crib sheet and show you how to finally move forward.
Reason #3 A READING GETS YOU OUT OF YOURHEAD
Check the frownlines on your face: we spend so much time grinding our mental gears, trying to work out a solution to a problem.
Sometimes, you need to take the brain out of it – and see what instinct and the heart has to say. That’s the specialty of a psychic. Add that info to the intellectual mix, your own knowledge of the situation and you’ve got something you can really work with in solving a problem.
Reason #3.5 YOUR DEAD GRANNY WANTS TO SAY “’SUP?”
Not all psychics are mediums – meaning, possessing the ability to connect with those on the Other Side. But for those who do have that particular channel on their radio, it can be a powerful experience for the client. My motto is, “It’s not a reading ‘til someone’s crying.”
Connecting with someone you’ve lost is incredibly therapeutic. I’ve had clients finally be able to drop all kinds of baggage after getting a message from someone who’s crossed over. It’s not only intensely liberating, it’s a big comfort, as well. The right psychic-medium can hook you up on that channel.
When it comes to finding an intuitive, I strongly believe in personal recommendations. You want a good fit – and a truly professional intuitive won’t mind if he/she isn’t the right one for you.
Let me just add that a responsible psychic will only ask for his/her standard fee (and not hit you up for “extras,” like “removing curses”); and if someone’s issues are above their paygrade, they’ll suggest a qualified mental health professional.
At any rate, if you’ve ever rolled your eyes at the thought of consulting a psychic, open your mind. This ancient art is more 21st century than you think.
Losing a pet is one of the worst — the WORST — things ever. I’ve had clients cry more over a lost animal friend than the loss of a parent. There’s something about our critters that touches us on a very deep level, and I totally get the emotions. So a big box of Kleenex gets set out along with my crystals as I prepare for the reading. And when I do connect with the spirit of a beloved animal, it is a profound experience. Over the years, this is what I’ve learned about their life on the Other Side.
First off, animals don’t fear death like we do. They understand that its just a transition to another state of being; they get the cycle of nature. It’s no biggie. They may not want to “leave” us, but there’s not so much drama around it. Because they know that they’ll still be around.
I’ve connected with many pets who admit they hung around longer than they wanted to, in order to give their owners time to wrap their brains around the idea of letting them go. They put up with pain or discomfort for the express purpose of buying time for their human. Now that’s love.
Once they cross, they feel wonderful, eager to play and interact with loved ones who’ve also passed. I often see them with a parent, grandparent or child who’s passed, even if they didn’t know that person here on earth. If they’re connected to you, that’s good enough for the critter.
And since animals still care about their people here, they come around us. The pet door between Heaven and Earth swings pretty easily, so they go back and forth. A lot. Our spirit pets patrol the home and the yard, making sure we’re protected. They will jump up on the bed like they used to, or curl up in their favorite corner. So if you think you hear/feel/see them, don’t check your meds: you ARE encountering them again.
Many clients wonder if their lost pet will be upset if they bring a new animal in to the house. I can pretty much tell you “no.” Most animals I connect with want their people to help give another fur-baby a good life, like they did for them. And here’s the thing: their spirit will be there to help the new pet adjust, like warning them about that screaming toddler who used to pull their tail.
Another question I get is, will their animal come back in the form of another pet? Sometimes yes — but like with any grieving process, you need to let them go and not hang on the hope of having them in your life again. Like any human who’s crossed over, your pet has a new life on the other side of the veil. You must give them the freedom to grow in their spiritual evolution. And not for nothing, it’s unfair to a new pet to expect them to behave like the deceased one. Not to mention, weird. Respect the individuality of the animal soul.
One of the most beautiful things I’ve learned is that our pets are all waiting for us to cross over. They knock over our human family members, in their rush to greet us. I cannot wait to be covered in fur and slobbery kisses. I wonder if my dog, Pasha, whom I lost when I went to college, still has the same breath that could melt paint? I’ll report back.
But in the meantime, treasure the magic your pet(s) has brought to your life, know that they still love you and come around, and wait for that wonderful day when you’re all on the same side of the Rainbow Bridge.
BTW, if you have any questions about my pet communication process, hit the website.
We’re hitting the Memorial Day weekend, and although its become associated with barbecues, beer and that scary moment when you display your winter-white legs in shorts for the first time, it really IS about “memorial” — as in, remembering those who’ve passed on in service to our country.
Whether you’ve lost a military family member — or any family member or friend — I want you to know that they will probably be at that barbecue with you. When someone crosses over, it does not mean that they cease to be involved or aware of life on this side of the veil. To the contrary: they’re still keeping an eye out for us.
To me, crossing over is like graduating from high school. You may be heading to college, but you’re still in touch with those kids a grade or two behind. If those “kids” are family members, you want to keep in the loop, maybe not quite as much as when you were alive — but still.
You’d be surprised at how many times a spirit has let me know that they were at a special birthday or graduation. They know about a new grandchild — or even the new addition you put on the house. The point is, they keep in touch. It’s like they’re checking your Facebook page. So you might want to keep the sketchier “selfies” off of it. Just a suggestion.
Anyway, those who we are deeply linked to, either by blood or circumstance, remain in our karmic phone book. They are busy with new experiences on spirit-side, but they don’t forget us. In fact, they’re closer than we think.
Most of us think that death takes us to a place far, far away; but in reality, they’ve just switched into a higher energy form. They move so fast that we can’t see them. Hey, Star Trek fans. ‘Memba that episode where Kirk is “sped up” by some alien chick? Here’s a refresher:
That’s kind of like how it is for our loved ones on the Other Side. They resonate at a level that we don’t easily experience; dimensionally, they live about three feet off of our ground.
For them to “appear” to us is not easy. They must slow down their vibration, which takes some doing. As a medium, I need to raise mine as they lower theirs — and then we meet somewhere in the middle, energetically speaking. When they show themselves to a non-medium, the process is even harder, so be super-grateful for that gift.
Because the process is tricky is one reason you may not see a loved one soon after their passing. They’re getting used to their new state; its like falling asleep as plain old dumpy you and waking up as Angelina Jolie. Takes some getting used to. That bit of down time is good for us, as it lets us adjust to this life without that person. Not fun, not easy, but necessary for our growth. Wanting to “see” them again is a natural response, but being too desperate and needy isn’t good for them or you.
Grief is a powerful teacher. And understanding that our loved ones continue to live on, albeit in a different form, takes time. Just know that they are as close as your thoughts and memories.
The other night I dreamt I was about to go on stage in front of thousands of people, to play bass with the Stones. Only I don’t know how to play. And unlike flying or breathing underwater, I didn’t know how to do it in the dream, either. Here I was gonna be standing next to Charlie Watts, a frikkin’ awesome drummer and one of my heroes. And I’m clueless. Clue. Less. It still gives me the willies when I recall it.
I know where that particular dream came from: reading an article about the band in Rolling Stone earlier. But there are other dreams that offer up more than just a psychedelic rehash of the day.
Like those wonderful ones where you encounter someone you’ve lost and they look wonderful. They practically shine. And you know – you just know –that they’ve visited you from the Other Side. Or the one where you get a “preview” of something that’s about to happen. This is where dreams serve a really useful purpose, to “download” info from other dimensions. Our conscious brain is in “sleep” mode – literally – so we can access different channels.
You may not think you dream, but you do. It’s a vital physical function; in fact, I think I read somewhere that, when test subjects were prevented from dreaming (as in, being woken up repeatedly), they got really sick. Umm, for the record? I would cut a bitch if someone did that to me. Anyway, the point is you do indeed dream — you just aren’t so hot on remembering them.
Dreaming is where we work stuff out on the physical plane, but more importantly, its where we access higher dimensions. Training yourself to remember what you learn in Dreamland is not as hard as you might think.
First, keep a notebook and pen by your bed. Second, set your intention to start remembering your dreams As you drift off, tell yourself that you WILL recall what you’ve experienced in the dream state. If you wake up in the middle of the night from a dream, jot down what you remember. Do NOT tell yourself that you’ll do it in the morning. Trust me, you probably won’t. So roll over, turn on the light for 10 seconds and scrawl it down. Just like Jerry Seinfeld with his awesome idea for a joke…..which he then couldn’t read.
When you first wake up from a dream, try not to move. This will keep you in that state between the worlds where it will be easier to consciously recall what you’ve experienced. Once you’ve captured a theme, image, whatever jot it in your notebook.
If something really stands out, ask yourself what it means – then go with the first impression or thought that you get. Don’t overthink it. Stay in that muted place where things flow without a lot of intellect behind them. Dreams reach us on a very subtle level; use more of your gut to interpret them, and less your brain.
There are some great dream interpretation books ( I like Mary Summer Rain’s Guide to Dream Symbols) and sites out there, but don’t discount what your own bad self tells you.
Once you’ve built up your recall muscle, you can direct your dreams towards something specific. For example, you can invite a deceased loved one to visit you in the dream state. Don’t force this; they have things going on on the Other Side. They don’t sit around, flipping through Us magazine, waiting for your call. Make the invitation, then let it go. Trying too hard blocks the energy.
You can also ask your Spirit Guides to provide an answer to a question by way of your dreams. Even if you don’t know who your guide(s) is, simply throw up a request for information. You can assign them a name if you want, or just say, “Yo, Guides – I need some help here with (fill in the blank).” They don’t stand on formality. Then see what they send you. And don’t be surprised if the answer/info you get is different than what you expect. Receive it with grace and say “thank you.”
One note – don’t get frustrated if you don’t get anywhere in remembering your dreams. Keep setting the intention, and eventually you will.
There’s an old folk trick to help the dream recall process along. Place a glass of water by your bed. When you first wake up, drink it down to help remember. Or to get the stank morning breath out of your mouth. In the meantime, enjoy a blast from my 80s past. And the exquisite Annie Lennox. In my dreams, I have her voice. In real life, my singing voice is closer to Linda McCartney’s.
Quick review: before we incarnate, we make a deal with a fellow spirit. For our part, we agree to take on the hairy experience of human life – which is jampacked with experiences and relationships designed to help our soul evolve. For their part, they stay on the other side, keeping an eye on our progress and helping us stay on track.
Whether we know they’re there or not, they do their best to offer opportunities, new people, coincidences and info that — if we pay attention — can help us keep moving in the right direction. (This is a super-short overview of the subject. A couple of great books on the subject are Ask Your Guides by Sonia Choquette and Spirit Guides by Iris Belhayes and Molly Sullivan). Moving on.
This particular spirit guide is the big kahuna; there will be other guides whom you can call on when you need help with something specific. For example, a “doctor” guide can assist with a health issue, or a “parenting” guide with kids. They come and go, but your main guide is always there.
Of course, the process of working with guides is way easier if we can recognize them and consciously develop a relationship. Here’s a way to meet your guy…or gal.
MEDITATION TO MEET YOUR MAIN SPIRIT GUIDE
Start by placing a notepad nearby to jot down your experience afterwards. Close your eyes and take a few deep centering breaths. Envision yourself surrounded by protective white light. You are completely relaxed and safe in this space.
Now see a beautiful garden path. You’re surrounded by lush greenery and flowers. The path slopes gently downwards into a wood. Walk along this path, enjoying the scenery as you go down, down, down.
You see a cottage in the distance. Continue walking downwards on the path, drawing nearer to it.
You arrive at the cottage. Notice how it looks. Notice the doors and windows. There’s a charming brass knocker on the door. Lift it and hear it fall, announcing your arrival. Now open the door and step inside.
There’s a gentle fire burning in the fireplace. There are two comfy, overstuffed chairs in front of it. One is for you. And the other is for your guide. Who is sitting there? What do they look like? What are they wearing? Keep in mind, they may surprise you. You may expect them to be in long white robes, but be open. I had one guide show himself as a white man wearing buckskin — he had been a woodsman in a previous life, kind of a “Jeremiah Johnson.” The point is to go with what you first see.
Now ask your guide their name. Again, the name may surprise you. When I first did this exercise, my guide said his name was something like “Rael.” Well, that is just waaay too out there for me, so I asked if I could call him “Ray” instead. Now he shows up wearing a pair of sunglasses like Ray Charles. That works with my sense of humor.
OK, so now you’re sitting in your chair with your guide. Ask him if he has a message for you. It may be short. Ask him how he will identify himself in your daily life. With “Ray,” I know he’s around when any Ray Charles music comes up on my iPod. In your case, maybe your guide will let you know they’re there through a symbol, a feeling (like tingles or cold chills) even a smell. Again, stay open and go with the first thing that hits you.
Tell your guide that you appreciate them being there for you and that you want to work more closely with them as you move forward. This cottage will be a place you can meet in future meditations. This is also where you will be introduced by your guide to any other spirit helpers.
Now, its time to leave. Say goodbye to your guide and exit the cottage. The path stretches out before you, sloping gently upwards. Walk along this path, feeling the warmth and love you experienced being with your guide.
Continue walking upwards, gently upwards. You feel yourself coming back to the here and now. When you’re ready, open your eyes and return to the present. Jot down your impressions, messages and insights. And — this is important — stay alert for any sign of your guide in your everyday life, and thank them for their presence.
You don’t have to go into a meditation every time you need help (good if you happen to be driving)– just ask. But it’s a good practice to regularly spend time meditating and building a relationship with your spirit guide. It will make it easier to interact with them, but mostly, it’s just good manners. You know those “friends” who only call when they need something? Don’t be one of them.
To me, spirit guides are a wonderful resource for navigating the ups and downs of life. Like factory air conditioning and OnStar, they come standard with our life. Why not use them to make yours run smoother?
Ever have an encounter with a guide? Spill it in the comments!
Almost every time I have a client sitting across from me, they tell me that they want to hear more often from their loved ones on the other side. A medium can be useful in this regard: it’s sort of like being an iPhone for reaching across the dimensions. But those who’ve passed are always letting us know they’re around in less technical ways. We just need to pay attention –and then acknowledge it.
Many times, we’ll have an experience that makes us go, “Hmmmm” — and somehow, you just KNOW that it was from the other side. There’s something a little different, out of the ordinary — but here’s what happens: we talk ourselves out of it. We dismiss it as a coincidence, or imagination, or a hundred other things. And thus, another wonderful tickle from our loved one goes unacknowledged.
In the movies, people have big, dramatic moments where they connect with the Other Side. I wish it were like that in real life, but its not. In my experience, the deceased tend to whisper, not shout. I think it’s also a function of our own “radar” being a little clogged with reality TV, work stuff, text messages and other junk.
One way to tune that radar is to simply recognize when you DO get one of those little hinkys.
Right after my mother passed, I was upstairs in my loft, when I heard some things drop to the floor of my kitchen below. I just “knew” that it wasn’t random — it was my mother letting me know she was there. A week later, I had another experience of her presence, and I believe it was because I was a little more open to that energy.
Signs of your loved ones come in little ways: you may hear a song that makes you think of them. You may “hear” their voice in your head or smell their cigarette smoke. Finding pennies is another way spirit shows up, or you may have a dream about them. You may simply feel that they’re with you, especially at special occasions like births, weddings or graduations. With pets, you may think you hear them around their favorite spots, or feel them sleeping on the bed with you.
The most important thing you can do is to acknowledge and thank them for reaching out. When you do that, you grease the channel and allow for even more communication. Don’t blow it off or think you’re imagining it: that’s like turning the ringer off on your phone, and forgetting to turn it back on.
I love the fact that our loved ones are still with us. While it would be great to hug them for real, I’ll take finding a penny, or smelling my dad’s pipe or hearing my mother’s favorite classical piece when I turn on the car radio. It’s a decent substitute.