“Is it OK to talk?” I get this question all the time during a reading. And the answer is, “Absolutely.”
A lot of people seem to think that a vow of silence on their part is required, that somehow, talking during a reading is “cheating.”
But let me stress something: psychics are here to help you. Not to impress you with their mad skillz.
If you ARE impressed that we pick up stuff before you tell us, that’s all good. The bottom line is that you’re there to get guidance and direction, a way to get unstuck. And a conversation with your reader is a good way to do that.
(This is one reason I don’t do parties anymore: I take what I do seriously and don’t want to be seen as some kind of cool party entertainment. But I will have a beer, thank you.)
Anyway, when I start a session, I begin by asking you what areas of your life you want some clarity on. This helps me focus in right away and give you information that will be practical and useful. It makes the most of our time together and gives you something you can use after you leave.
Personally, I hate those, “Oh, just tell me whatever you get…” sessions. To me, that’s like driving in circles around the parking lot. If you’ve decided to get a reading, clearly there’s something going on. Do yourself a favor and take some time to think about what it is.
It’s exciting and gratifying when I pick up information psychically or from the Other Side – but I live for those moments when my client sees a way forward out of his/her problems. How that happens is a technicality.
I admit it: I have a serious love/hate relationship with The Law of Attraction. I get the physics behind it, that if we properly align our energies with the Universe, we can attract whatever we want into our life with a lot less sweat. That makes sense to me. That’s the “love” part.
Buuuuttt……then why hasn’t my Porsche shown up in the driveway? Am I a complete loser with the Law? Are my energies not operating at full capacity? That’s the “hate” part.
Like most of us, I’m still working on going fully operational with manifesting, but here are two things that have helped me so far.
The book, The Secret, suggests first trying to “manifest” a cup of coffee. See if someone offers you one, shows up with an extra mug, whatever.
You could also attract a great parking spot. Or finding a quarter. The point is, not to overwhelm yourself. It’s like learning to walk: you didn’t go from crawling to running the New York Marathon in one fell swoop. Baby steps, people.
2) LEAVE THE “HOW’S” TO THE UNIVERSE
This is by far the biggest obstacle to manifesting. We disperse our energies in trying to direct how things are gonna show up, rather than keeping an eye on the prize itself.
Look at it this way: say you’ve waited months to get a table at a five-star restaurant. You look at the menu and choose your meal, something sinfully delectable. The waiter takes your order and heads off into the kitchen. Would you get up from your chair, follow him, then proceed to tell the chef how to make your dinner? Granted, I was once a waittress and had a couple of obnoxious customers who came close to that – but seriously. Leave the chef alone to work his magic.
If you want to direct that control-freak energy somewhere, focus it on how you’ll feel when this goal arrives. Picture yourself as already having it. Bask in it. But dial back the need to shape the “when” and “how.” That just slows your power down.
By the way, finding your focus is something I wrote about here.
I read somewhere that just sixteen seconds of really soaking in the feeling of what you want puts as much juice towards making something happen, as doing 100 hours of actual labor towards that same goal. Mind. Blown.
So don’t beat yourself up if your manifesting powers aren’t working at full bore. Start small, take baby steps, and leave the details to that awesome Chef in the Sky. Because you might get a free dessert you weren’t expecting.
I had a client here the other day who, before we even started the reading, spent a solid 15 minutes railing about all the injustices done to her by her dead father. Then she switched gears and bitched about the years of verbal abuse she’d gotten from her ex husband. These two guys had given her self-esteem a serious beatdown. I couldn’t blame her for offloading all this anger and resentment.
When we moved to the subject of forgiveness, she shut down on me. Her mouth tightened up and she said, “I just….can’t. If I do, its like they win.”
Whoa – how many times have we heard THAT before? Forgiveness is one of the thorniest issues we deal with. Because it DOES feel like, by forgiving someone, they win the argument. Or it means they’re “right.”
I really think we need a different name for “forgiveness,” something that doesn’t sound so kumbaya-ish and is a bit more badass: purging, scrubbing, kicking them to the curb. I’m taking suggestions.
Because when you insist on carrying grudges and hurts around, it does nothing but slow you down. It stands in the way of you getting what you really want. If that’s not letting someone else “win,” I don’t know what is.
Forgiveness does not mean you condone what they did. It does not mean they were right. You observe what they said or did, acknowledge that it sucked and then….kick it to the curb with all the other trash you no longer need. Just like you have no connection to a garbage bag filled with coffee grounds, egg shells and used paper towels, you no longer need to have a connection to the trash from your past. Observe it. Let it go.
Look at forgiving someone as the most radical, in-your-face thing you can do. They’ll never see it coming, and by the time they digest your new behavior, you’re well down the road to your future. Freer. Fiercer.
I wrote about a technique for letting things go in this earlier post. And if the idea that they’ve somehow gotten away with something still chaps your hide, check this out.
So I’m laying out the cards, and I see a change coming. A new job, new lover, a shift in living situation. Something awesome and positive. But then the client leans across the table and starts reciting how they expect their new lover, new job, new fill-in-the-blank to appear.
“Well, I know someone who knows someone like that, and we met at a party last year, so I think its him….” [ It’s not].
“So OK, my boss is talking about retiring which will make a space for me to move up, so then Sheila will probably go to Accounts Payable and then.….” [Wrong again].
I get it. We all want a super-clear path to our future, one with no pholes, stoplights or tacky tourist traps.
I’m happy to oblige as best I can, but most of the times when I read, I see the destination with a fuzzy glow around it. This is a reminder that the details of how something will manifest have yet to be fully determined.
And the more we cling to our own version of the details, the more we narrow the path to getting there and block out some pretty kickass options.
Years ago, my friend and I were first learning about Creative Visualization. One of the key tenets is to get very detailed about what you want. She wanted a new boyfriend, so she wrote down everything – and I mean everything – that she desired. Four pages worth. Back and front.
I’m all for having a clear vision – but too many details or expectations can drag it down.
To me, drilling down to the core of what you want simplifies that process. And to get to that essence, think about how you want to feel with that thing/goal/person in your life.
Feelings are like lighter fluid to a dream.
Experiencing the emotion of a goal provides a potent, simple beacon that helps the Universe bring it your way. Conversely, trying to maintain a million details in your head only mucks up the works. It’s like herding cats.
My girlfriend could have made her man-hunting job way easier by thinking about how she wanted to feel in that new relationship: safe, loved, appreciated for her wicked sense of humor. Maybe the brown hair, build like Jean Claude Van Damme and penchant for collecting African art wouldn’t be so important if she got the emotional outcome that she wanted.
My philosophy is, you don’t have to do all the heavy lifting alone; keep the simple essence in mind, gently hold onto the feeling and let the Universe meet you halfway. Let it surprise you.
This requires letting go of the handlebars. Remember how scary that felt? But when you did, and the bike flew along on its own, it was a total rush. And you got where you were going having had a whole lot more fun.
My given name is “Cynthia.” Which I’ve always hated. The family story goes that my sister picked it out of a baby name book ‘cause she thought it “sounded funny” (bitch). But my parents liked it and I was stuck with it. That’s what sucks about being a newborn – no say in anything.
Anyhoo, I’ve since done some research and found that the name means “Of the moon” which, given my metaphysical bent, seems appropriate. I’m fascinated by the ancient, timeless passage of this glowing orb through the night sky. It has its own rhythm and definitely its own power. Anyone who’s worked with the public can attest to the effects of the “full moon” – people get crazy, irritable, a little nuttier than usual, amiright? So Moon Energy is a real thing.
Wiccans and pagans drill way down into the subject of moon cycles. But for the rest of us, a simple working knowledge of the energy that’s right over our heads is enough. Check the weather report for the current moon phase. Let it help you with the daily workings of life. And you get a do over every 28 days!
THE NEW MOON
The dark of the moon is the perfect time for planting the seeds of something new. It’s that empty space where a project, plan, dream can begin to take root. The New Moon gives a little “oomph” to anything that’s just beginning. It’s a good time for planning a project, making a move or learning something new.
Here’s a little ritual to try. On the night of a new moon, write out your goal on a piece of paper. Light a candle and visualize it coming true. Look up at the moon and ask that it be granted, then burn the paper in the candle flame (be careful!). Repeat this over 12 nights (if you miss one, you have to start over).
THE WAXING MOON
As the moon “grows,” so does the energy of anything you want to “increase.” This is a great time to try to get pregnant, look for a new lover (or start counseling with your existing one) or ask for a raise.
To “grow” more money, cut out a picture of a frog, tell it what you need, then keep it in your wallet.
THE FULL MOON
The moon is at its most potent, so when you need extra power, this is the time. The full moon helps with legal issues, looking for work or healing. Because the light of the moon is so bright, this is also the time to focus on anything spiritually-related (like developing your intuition or praying for world peace).
To help someone (or even you) heal from an illness, take a white candle, a sprig of rosemary and a photo of the person. Light the candle and envision its healing light streaming into that person’s body.
THE WANING MOON
As the moon begins its journey back to the dark, use this dissipating energy to let go of something. I once timed a surgery to the waning moon to help the doctor rid my body of an unneeded tumor. This cycle will help you gracefully wrap up any relationship that’s run its course, or a part of your life that no longer works.
I like this little ritual for ending a bad habit: take a piece of black string and tie four knots. The first is the mental aspects of the habit, why you keep it. The second represents the actions around this habit. The third is the emotions around the habit, how you feel about it – and about giving it up. Finally, the fourth knot represents the practical aspects of the habit – like how much it cots for those cigarettes. During a waning moon, untie one knot each day, symbollically ‘releasing’ the habit. Then destroy the string when you’re done.
Any questions? Hit me up in the Comments section. And remember to check out the website.
Now to sing us out, Karl Wallenberg and the Waterboys with one of my faves.
There’s a house up the street that’s stood vacant for the last 25 years. I’m told that, on his deathbed, the owner made his wife swear she’d never sell it. She didn’t. Instead, she moved to Georgia with her daughter, leaving the house to rot. The weeds grew up, raccoons were spotted inside. My neighbors and I complained, and every so often, someone would show up to cut the grass. But it was a sad little sight, and I figured that one day, the house would just be leveled.
Last week, some trucks showed up. They began cutting away the overgrown shrubs. The roof was repaired, the shingles scrubbed. I can see painters working away inside. This poor little house that everyone had given up on is getting a second chance. It makes me smile.
This Extreme Makeover is a reminder that its never too late for any of us to make some changes. I have so many clients who feel that the ship has sailed, that their situation — whether its a job they hate or a relationship that’s dead — is a done deal. Not true. Maybe our brains have gotten used to covering the same tired tracks, but that’s essentially the only thing holding us back: the way we think about the situation.
I love this particular card:
The Hanged Man looks pretty pathetic; he seems trapped, but look again: by hanging upside down, he can see his situation from a different perspective. That’s why there’s that “glow” around his head — its an “aha” moment that comes from flipping something on its head. Literally.
Everyone on our street had gotten it into our collective heads that no one would buy that broken down property. But someone else thought differently. They saw possibility and began taking the steps to turn things around. Each day, they come closer to realizing that vision.
What part of your life needs a makeover? Now don’t go to that default impulse that you can’t change it: take another look. Then start clearing out the weeds. If that raccoon camp up the street can be turned back into a home, anything is possible!
My best friend lost her father this week. I stopped in to give her a hug, and over coffee, she shared her story. One of the things she was struck by was how fast he went, shortly after entering the hospital. She said it was like he had made the decision to leave and had surrendered to that path. “Surrender” is a good word for death in all its forms.
It put me in mind of this Tarot card:
Whenever the Death card comes up in a reading, I make it a point to tell the client that its not as scary as it looks. Death is riding a horse, with people bowing down in front of him. They are allowing him to ride over them, pushing them back into the earth where they will become part of a new cycle.
The dude in the yellow, however, is trying to stop Death in its tracks. Guess what? Not gonna happen, and the more he fights it, the harder the process will be. Don’t be a little bitch, Yellow Guy. Get with the program.
Anyway, the white rose on the flag represents the purity of the new state they will enter into. The river running nearby symbolizes the endless and enduring stream of Life. The sun is rising in the background, signifying a new beginning.
I take this card to represent the need to let something “die” in order to move on ( I will also read it as someone who may have died recently, but I don’t take it as a harbinger that someone is about to kick the bucket. I don’t believe that’s for us to see — just my opinion.)
When someone is hanging on to something that has run its course — a relationship, a job, a habit, an ideology – things get “stuck.” You feel like you’re covering the same stale ground and getting nowhere, and guess what? You ain’t. So maybe you need to surrender to that fact.
When you acknowledge that something is done, finished, kaput, you clear a space for new energy. It’s like a big cosmic garage sale.
I’m not saying that letting go is easy. But get the ball rolling by recognizing that something is played out and is serving no purpose other than to make you frustrated, bored and unhappy.
By focusing on the idea of letting go to make room for the new, you’ll facilitate the process. It may happen in stages, it may happen all at once. That may create some anxiety (after all, its familiar), but breathe through each moment. Always remember that you’re not “losing” something so much as gaining a new opportunity to move forward in your life. To me, this is the big lesson of the Death card.
As a psychic, the subject of relationships is one of the Top Three questions I get (the other two being money and career, in case you were wondering). Love is a straight-up crazy ride, so no surprise that psychics get so much business.
Therapists are one way to sort out your love life; so are intuitives. We offer a different approach to issues of the heart, an unconventional source of information that can give you fresh insights.
Naturally, every client’s story is different, but these are the themes that come up repeatedly. Any of ‘em ring a bell?
1) “WHY AM I STILL SINGLE?”
Clearly, there are some practical issues. Like if you spend your time on the couch watching re-runs instead of putting yourself out into the world: just so you know, the Relationship Fairy will not be delivering someone by FedEx.
But outside of this, I often pick up on deep wounds that have yet to heal or unresolved fears. All that works like a big “STOP” sign to a relationship. What is it that you need to break down?
2) “WHY ISN’T/DIDN’T THE RELATIONSHIP WORK?”
Relationships come with issues as standard equipment. Learning to work through them advances our growth, but its no guarantee that we’ll grow at the same rate as our partner.
Many times people simply end their journey together. They’ve learned all they’re going to and its healthier to just move on. Its my job to pick up whether there are lessons still in the pipeline or if its time to let go. If that’s the case, I can also provide the “coming attractions” reel of what will fill that void. Because Nature abhors a vacuum.
3) “WHY DO I KEEP MEETING THE SAME LOSER?”
Because you’re not paying attention. Repeating a pattern means you haven’t learned something. So the same person/scenario keeps showing up, but in different guises. What is it you’re missing? What do you need to change?
No matter how much of a dirtbag that person might be, or if something is “all their fault,” you have a role to play in the situation. Yes, really. What is that role and how can you break free of it? As they say, “it takes two to tango” and a session with a good psychic may teach you some new steps in the dance of love.
Got questions about your own relationship(s)? I’m here.
I first got turned on to crystals back in the 80s (didn’t we all?). At one point, they were everywhere in my tiny apartment. My roommate would just roll his eyes when he saw another added to the collection. I was about 4 stones away from officially being declared a hoarder.
All these years later, I still have plenty of beautiful little stones, but there are a few in particular that I work with the most. They’re my go-to crystals when I do any psychic work.
QUARTZ CRYSTAL; Like a Chanel suit, this stone goes with everything. It’s the kind of crystal that can serve any purpose you assign it. Yup, you can “program” it so that it’s electromagnetic properties help attract whatever your intention is. Just hold it in your non-dominant hand, envisioning your goal uploading into it. When you feel a “click,” you’re done. You can re-program it for something else, by envisioning that you’re clearing it, then repeating the upload process.
I keep these on my reading table, simply because of the positive energy that seems to flow from the little buggers.
ROSE QUARTZ: The soft pink color aligns with the heart chakra. I love the gentle vibe surrounding rose quartz. It’s not throwing off hot monkey-love vibes, more of a gentle, patient energy. It’s the kind of love vibe you have for your pet, or your grandma has for you. Unconditional, sweet, giving. It’s the Aunt Bee of crystals.
This is a good stone to work with when any sort of grief or loss is going on. It heals the heart, which makes it great to carry after a breakup, a death or anything that makes you feel like you’re walking around with a giant hole in your chest.
LAPIS: I can get lost staring at this gorgeous blue-gold stone. It’s powerfully spiritual, used to help connect with higher realms and energies.
Lapis throws off a really strong metaphysical energy and really helps open up my channel. It turns up the volume in a major way. Nigel Tufnel (all hail, Tap!) breaks it down for ya….
AMETHYST: Like lapis, this is a spiritual stone. The energy of amethyst, however, isn’t quite as macho. Amethyst resonates with the crown chakra, helping us connect with the channel of enlightenment and awareness. It just makes me feel good to have around, ’cause its so purty.
OBSIDIAN: Of course, when I’m having trouble staying spiritual, this repels/absorbs any negative energies. When a client requires some seriously heavy work, obsidian is like an anchor in turbulent waters. The dark color works like a super-magnet for grounding me when my head is all over the place.
Not for nothing, obsidian is helpful for blocking someone’s icky vibe from affecting you. I had a boss who was, shall we say, an idiot with a heaping side of Pain in the Ass. I hated going to work, but once I put a giant chunk of obsidian on my desk, he didn’t come around as much — and I stopped wanting to punch him in the throat.
At any rate, these particular crystals are must-haves for the spiritual life. As Bob Dylan once sang, “Everybody must get stoned.” In a good way.
The way I see it, you need these on speed-dial: a plumber, mechanic, lawyer, and in my house, a chicken place that delivers.
I would add to that, a good psychic.
I’m not talking about hitting up Madame Lasagna at the boardwalk. I’m talking about those of us who are truly, sharply tuned in to the intuitive side. That kind of information gives you a new (and sometimes better) way to deal with modern challenges.
Ever since the first human wondered if the person in the next cave over liked them or not, humans have sought ways to see what couldn’t be determined by other means. Psychic ability lets us pull back from what’s in front of us, and sense other things at play. The psychic’s brain downloads on a completely different channel and offers another source of information.
Intuition is a nice counterbalance to the super-tech, pointy-headed vibe of this 21st century life. It’s more organic. Your iPhone can do a lot of things, but picking up psychic info ain’t on the list.
Maybe that’s why I’ve seen such a huge increase in people coming for a reading whom you might not expect: a tough Irish cop, a psychoanalyst, a surgeon, for starters. They’re finding a new way around their problems, by tapping into this age-old data stream.
If you’re still kicking the idea around, here are my 3.5 reasons to consider a psychic.
Reason #1: WE SEE THE BIG PICTURE – THE REALLY BIIIIIG PICTURE
As a psychic, I’m focused on the particular issue you bring me, but I’m also “pulling back” to see what else is going on around its edges. It’s kind of like Google Earth. Many times, I pick up on things affecting it that you weren’t aware of: past-life influences, karma, what’s up with the other people involved. That kind of intel gives you a new perspective on why and where you’re stuck. (Even if you’re not sold on the idea of past lives or karma, admit it – it sounds interesting, doesn’t it?)
Reason #2 WE GIVE YOU A DETOUR AROUND THE ROADBLOCKS
When the same annoying situation/person keeps showing up in your life, there’s a reason. Yes, really. The Universe is trying to get your attention, or to provide a lesson. What is that lesson? An intuitive can give you the crib sheet and show you how to finally move forward.
Reason #3 A READING GETS YOU OUT OF YOURHEAD
Check the frownlines on your face: we spend so much time grinding our mental gears, trying to work out a solution to a problem.
Sometimes, you need to take the brain out of it – and see what instinct and the heart has to say. That’s the specialty of a psychic. Add that info to the intellectual mix, your own knowledge of the situation and you’ve got something you can really work with in solving a problem.
Reason #3.5 YOUR DEAD GRANNY WANTS TO SAY “’SUP?”
Not all psychics are mediums – meaning, possessing the ability to connect with those on the Other Side. But for those who do have that particular channel on their radio, it can be a powerful experience for the client. My motto is, “It’s not a reading ‘til someone’s crying.”
Connecting with someone you’ve lost is incredibly therapeutic. I’ve had clients finally be able to drop all kinds of baggage after getting a message from someone who’s crossed over. It’s not only intensely liberating, it’s a big comfort, as well. The right psychic-medium can hook you up on that channel.
When it comes to finding an intuitive, I strongly believe in personal recommendations. You want a good fit – and a truly professional intuitive won’t mind if he/she isn’t the right one for you.
Let me just add that a responsible psychic will only ask for his/her standard fee (and not hit you up for “extras,” like “removing curses”); and if someone’s issues are above their paygrade, they’ll suggest a qualified mental health professional.
At any rate, if you’ve ever rolled your eyes at the thought of consulting a psychic, open your mind. This ancient art is more 21st century than you think.